tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50945476342287891932024-03-05T05:16:07.404-08:00And so it goes...Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-80616039608117932592017-07-28T10:04:00.001-07:002017-07-28T10:08:02.303-07:00<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm <a href="https://thisaintthelyceum.org/sqt-fall-fashion-forecast-for-homeschoolers/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">linking up with Kelly</span></a> to bring you 7 quick takes from my world. I have basically taken a blogging hiatus for personal reasons, but I'm coming out of hiding to "celebrate" NFP week. I'm posting a link below to my post 2 years ago about NFP awareness week. My life has changed a bit since then, but I still stand by what I said. Let's all pray to be more open to God's call on our lives. </div>
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<a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/07/happy-nfp-awareness-week.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Click here</span></a> to go directly to the original post from July 2015 about NFP from the archives. </div>
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<br />Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-89543247863932028942017-05-11T08:47:00.004-07:002017-05-11T08:47:53.246-07:00Truth<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh that Catholic leaders would talk to their flocks with such candor...also, what I wish I had known in my 20's (although I was not Catholic or in a good relationship for much of that time)... </div>
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<a href="http://thefederalist.com/2017/05/11/consider-starting-family-earlier-youre-planning/?utm_source=The+Federalist+List&utm_campaign=19cc7fabbe-RSS_The_Federalist_Daily_Updates_w_Transom&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_cfcb868ceb-19cc7fabbe-55858421" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Read on here for some food for thought</span></b></a></div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-48667996392727862722017-04-21T09:05:00.002-07:002017-04-24T07:59:22.101-07:00Easter<div style="text-align: center;">
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I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></b></a> to bring you 7 quick takes from my world this week. </div>
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I've always hated Lent. It was foreign to me, being raised Protestant. I think I confused Lent with self-hatred in my early years as a Catholic. I think I'm finally "getting" it, and I don't hate it anymore. I had a very meditative and meaningful Lenten season. </div>
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Sometimes you choose your suffering, and sometimes it chooses you. This year, after months of trying, we conceived, but <a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2017/02/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">had a miscarriage in February</span></b></a>. Mourning the loss of our first child coincided with Lent, and I was able to understand our Mother, Mary, and the stations of the cross so much more deeply this year. </div>
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Also for perhaps one of the first times, I was able to keep my Lenten fast pretty much all of Lent. In addition, I really *really* tried not to eat meat on Fridays and made it through Lent doing that with good consistency. That was a first. Today, being the first Friday of Easter, I'm actually noticing the meat in my meals and the "feasting" happening. It's true that when you fast well, the feast is so much more meaningful. </div>
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One of my Lenten resolutions was to read the Confessions of St. Augustine. I totally failed on that one. I read quickly, and I already own the book. It just didn't happen. </div>
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Where to go from here? I'm not sure. I don't really feel holier than when I started Lent. I didn't learn any great lessons. In fact, I'm so aware of my own failings. It gives me great comfort that even Jesus stumbled and fell under His cross. But, the tough things in life are still tough. </div>
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I took a long blogging break, and I think I may need to do so again. Social media in general is sometimes a source of self-pity for me. I just feel surrounded by moms. Sometimes moms who vent their frustration and lack of gratitude for their children...gifts I would gladly take off their hands. I know it's not easy to be a mom. Everyone needs their venting, maybe I just don't need to be part of that audience..., but the Catholic and married <i>without</i> children community seems pretty small. It seems like some people take for granted their families and children sometimes. To those of us who want kids and don't have them, it's kind of a slap in the face. I told so few people about the pregnancy that equally few know of the miscarriage. It's not uncommon to miscarry, but it seems no one talks about it, so people end up feeling alone. I was hoping to have good news to share, now I don't. Do I just call some old friends to share the *bad* news? I don't think so. I don't know if it's the introvert in me, self-pity or some self-preservation, but I just feel the need to withdraw. </div>
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Now that Easter is here, I'm ready for some resurrection in my life. I'm sick of this cross. That doesn't mean it's gone just because Lent is over. But, we keep putting one foot in front of the other, and try not to give into despair. <br />
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<b>We are an Easter people, and Alleluia is our song. </b></div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-8403816265847835272017-04-10T11:32:00.002-07:002017-04-10T11:33:22.538-07:00Holy Week<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.thecatholicthing.org/2017/04/09/one-of-the-twelve/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Here is a thoughtful meditation</span></b></a> on Judas for Holy Week. <br />
His human nature is all too familiar. </div>
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Thank you, Fr. Scalia. </div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-50530293038083339372017-02-17T09:23:00.002-08:002017-05-10T11:25:17.826-07:007 Quick Takes: Miscarriage Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Kelly</b></span></a> to bring you 7 Quick Takes from my world this week. </div>
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I have been on a blogging hiatus for a variety of reasons. One of them was that I needed to focus on my vocation - marriage. I needed to focus on real life, not spend time sharing or creating an online presence that would divert me from that real life. (I know others can do this effortlessly, but for me, it was taking too much time.) I'm back if only for this week to share news.</div>
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After about 6-7 months of trying to conceive, we got pregnant last December. And then we had a miscarriage at around 7 weeks (mid-February). I'm reviving the blog to share my miscarriage story. It may help others. Others may help me. </div>
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I'm considered "advanced maternal age." (I'm in my mid-late thirties.) My doctor put me on a progesterone supplement after confirming the pregnancy because mine was low. She also mentioned that my HCG was not doubling every 2 days. It was increasing, but not doubling. She said there was nothing they could do about that. We heard a heartbeat at week 6. The doctor said it was on the slow side, but within the normal range for that young. The next week when we came back, however, the heartbeat needed to be much, much higher. I was hoping to beat the odds. </div>
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We entrusted our little baby to the sacred heart of Jesus and the immaculate heart of Mary. We prayed his or her little heartbeat would increase and asked others to do the same. The doctor mentioned that once a heartbeat was established, the likelihood of miscarriage went down to 3%, so we were optimistic. The words "the Lord, the giver of life" stuck out to me in the Creed like never before. God created this life. If it were to be sustained, God would have to do that too. </div>
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Last week, we went back for a check up, and there was no heartbeat anymore. The baby hadn't grown since the week before. I didn't have any bleeding, and I was feeling as nauseous as ever, which I took to be good signs. It wasn't the case. Two days later (last Friday), I had a D & C procedure. </div>
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My doctor and the hospital had never (in 33 years of existence) been asked for the fetal remains to be returned to the parents after a miscarriage or stillbirth. We asked for the remains in order to have a burial of our child, if possible. It was incredibly painful and hurtful to be met with so much resistance in this situation. Trying to advocate for myself while in a hospital gown and on drugs was very difficult. My husband did most of the fighting for us, thankfully. I was told that we should have asked earlier (we did to no avail), that it wouldn't be possible, that I may have to delay surgery until there was paperwork on file, etc. I wasn't sure my doctor's position as far as pro-life/pro-choice before this moment. This event unfortunately confirmed to me that she saw us as difficult patients, religious freaks, who were wanting to do something like a burial ceremony for a lost tooth. She said she was sorry that the pregnancy didn't turn out the way we'd liked (not healthy), but I'm not sure that she felt we had lost a <i>life</i>, a <i>child,</i> not just a potential life or potential child. There were two kind nurses who took a moment to hug me and say they were sorry for my loss. That made a huge difference and was so appreciated on a dark day. </div>
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There are some club memberships you never want to have. I didn't want to be in this club - mothers of miscarried babies. We haven't yet picked a name because we don't know the gender, and had considered very male-specific and female-specific names. I've had no special revelation of the gender of our baby, no instinct. Physically, it has been much easier to recover from the miscarriage than it was to be pregnant for 7-8 short weeks. I would take that discomfort back in a heartbeat. It almost feels like a dream/nightmare. Was I really pregnant? Was it really over that quickly? Are we really discussing urns? <br />
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We were able to get the remains back from the hospital, and our little baby is now in the safe-keeping of a funeral home until we can arrange a burial. I feel like he/she is much safer there than at the hospital. For those who might be in this situation and don't know the options, I suggest <a href="http://www.catholicmiscarriagesupport.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Catholic Miscarriage Support</span></b></a>. They were incredibly helpful to me and answered an email I sent them in less than 24 hours. I also suggest contacting your diocese and the pro-life office, if there is one. Our pro-life office reassured us that it was our legal right to ask for the remains back, and helped us get in touch with a funeral home and a cemetery right away. They were also incredibly kind and clearly understood this was a loss of life, not a medical procedure or inconvenience. </div>
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That is all I can say right now. Peace be with you. <br />
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<b><span style="color: blue;"><u>Edited to add</u></span></b>: Between the time of the D & C and the time of our burial service, my husband and I were praying that we would have a little bit of a revelation as to the gender of our lost baby. While pregnant, I had no intuition about this, although I thought I would just "know," I never did. I was sort of angry and upset that we still didn't know at the time of the miscarriage. I thought it could help us have more closure to have a name and a gender. I asked for a divine revelation. Separately (without discussing it), my husband and I each strongly came to the conclusion that it was a boy over the course of a few weeks. I suppose we could be wrong, but each time I imagined that child, if I tried to imagine it was a girl, there was an immediate thought that I was wrong and a resistance to the idea that it was a girl. It got to the point that I just felt and almost knew in my heart it was a boy. When I mentioned this to my husband that I was concluding it was probably a boy, he had been having the same experience of that strong impression it was a boy. We ended up naming our child Dominique, which simply means "from God." If spelled in the French way like this (<i>-que</i> at the end), it can be a male or female name. So, we went with that name since we didn't know 100% absolutely for sure, although we do feel it was a boy. And, for what it's worth, our little nephew who is 4 years old had just started to refer to the baby as a boy without any prompting. He also told us the baby is playing in a waterfall with God and that "there will be another baby." I think kids are in touch with God more closely than the rest of us sometimes. I hope he's right. <br />
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-70952905811832566402016-09-06T09:10:00.003-07:002016-09-06T09:10:16.190-07:00See ya'<div style="text-align: center;">
On a blogging hiatus. </div>
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Peace be with you. </div>
Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-78383229944200593882016-09-02T09:28:00.001-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.760-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes <div style="text-align: center;">
I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></b></a> to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week. </div>
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Nobody really reads this, nor do I use my real name or too many identifiable details...however, I'm pretty sure I'm going to close up shop here at the blog....again...for real this time. I do fancy myself a writer in some sense. That's how I process things. I want the freedom to write down my thoughts and talk about them with others, while at the same time not invading my personal life with the blog. Maybe I need to privately online journal or open up a word document and call it a day. Maybe I need to share more with people I actually know on Facebook or in real life to get the connection I guess I'm seeking. It just seems like most the Catholics online all seem to be either men doing apologetics or moms who blog, which brings me to point number two. </div>
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I am not a mom. We are "trying," and have so far been unsuccessful. It's not my fault that we didn't get married until I was 33, and that was almost 2 years ago. It's not my fault that my parents didn't pay for my wedding because 1) they're poor and 2) it was a Catholic wedding. It's not my fault that we started off our marriage with student loans and unexpected medical debt from an accident my husband had that was a <i>very</i> near miss on his life. That is the way my life has unfolded thus far. I have not given into despair (yet), nor has it been long enough to have to look into infertility treatments. It's totally in God's hands. I have no idea what will happen. However, it's really hard to be bombarded online with mom-talk, mom-blogs, etc. in the online Catholic world when I want that and don't know if or how it'll ever happen for me. I don't relate, aside from being an auntie and being close to many moms. That's not my life (yet? ever?). On the other hand, it's just hard not to be bitter or even jealous, especially when people complain over things that they seem to take for granted, things that I want, things that I think I would embrace. I know we all have crosses and that as much as motherhood is a blessing, it can be a cross too. I just think I need to step away for my own sanity from the overwhelming mommy-sphere of the Catholic online world that I have stumbled upon. I get it - moms, Catholic moms need community. I just feel so left out sometimes. Where is the newlywed community? Where is the married/no kids community? Where is the "we accept you as you are" community? Where is the co-ed, multi-aged community? Which brings me to point number three. </div>
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I want community - in real life, online - and I don't think you have to be the <i>same </i>as someone else to have community. <span style="text-align: center;">Why are so many women's conferences for</span><span style="text-align: center;"> </span><i style="text-align: center;">moms</i><span style="text-align: center;">, not all women? Why are there so many retreats that are <i>men</i>'s retreats and <i>women</i>'s retreats, not for couples? These are my own special pet peeves of life. First world problems. I think it helps to find people in your age and stage of life. It also helps to stretch yourself outside of that. One of the most life-changing and meaningful relationships I ever had was with someone in her 80's when I was in my 20's. All that to say, it's rough out there. In order to get community, we have to intentionally create it. We are doing stuff in real life to reach out to others in our big city and to create a network of friends and family we can really turn to and connect with. And it's hard, but it's definitely gotten better than it was even a year ago. I just don't think the online world has contributed to my need for community, it has (for my own reasons) made me feel more isolated sometimes. I think I need to step away. </span></div>
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I am going through what my husband calls a "Franciscan" phase right now. In other words, lots of donation bags to Goodwill, lots of shredding of paper, lots of de-cluttering, lots of reading of minimalist books. It's been fabulous. I was sick for the first 6 months of our marriage, followed by 9 unplanned surgeries/procedures to my body, so essentially our entire first year of marriage involved medical issues for me. The second year of marriage was spent kind of getting to a new normal and getting my head above water, but lots of it felt like survival mode. One major change was commuting to work on public transportation, rather than driving. In such a large city, I'm still gone for work about 11-12 hours per day, but it's less stressful on me. Having less driving time (not necessarily less commuting time) has given me my life back a little bit. I have been able to do more than just "maintain" at home, but actually de-clutter, organize, and simplify. When you do that with outward things, it makes you want to do that with inner things, and "invisible" things, such as digital presence, social media, etc. Which brings me to point number 5. </div>
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<b>~5~</b></div>
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<a href="http://taylormarshall.com/podcastarchive" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Taylor Marshall</span></b></a> recently mentioned on his podcast that he and his wife are doing a 30-day social media fast. It has made him more present in his everyday life. He said he has more time to read, feels like he is more focus and relational with his children, and it has been a positive experience. </div>
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I've occasionally taken time off or deactivated social media. I think it might be time to do that again, blog included...only I think the blog might be a permanent closure. It just seems like relatively little-to-none ROI (return on investment) for the time and mental energy. There are some high-drama people in my family, and it's hard enough to maintain relationships with them, much less manage their expectations on social media interaction. It's ridiculous. </div>
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<b>~6~</b></div>
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Not only are we trying to conceive, but I really <i>really</i><b style="font-style: italic;"> really</b> need to get serious about my health. I feel bad on most days. I don't know if this is normal, but it is normal for me. Headaches, exhausted, roller coaster, pounding heart rate, etc. I am 90% sure this could all go away (or at least be drastically improved) if I strictly followed an anti-inflammation diet. Oddly enough, deleting a blog, deactivating social media, and cleaning out my closets help me focus on my physical health. It makes me feel like I have the psychic space and energy to take care of those things. Exercise, eating right, sleeping more. I have been able to detox my body before with good results, but I feel like this will be a lifelong struggle, a lifelong choice to say "yes" to this way of life every single day. It's so easy to go off track (there are cookies in the work break room this very moment). </div>
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<b>~7~</b></div>
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I feel like all six points thus far are <b><i>really</i> </b>close to some major self-pity. I don't mean to come across that way. I love my mom friends, and maybe someday I'll get to be in that club. Maybe not. I can't mourn an unknown reality, I just have to take it one day at a time, which has surprisingly been very hard. Feeling so overwhelmed (as I do by life right now) just makes me want to re-evaluate priorities and get serious about living my best life. Maintaining this blog doesn't seem to fit in that equation right now. </div>
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In honor of one of my favorite saints and one of my favorite soon-to-be saints, a friendly reminder that it's the little things that matter. It's the small things, the little way, that matters. I need to do those small things with love, great love. I need to step back from all that is non-essential right now so that I have the ability to even attempt the little way. </div>
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I wish peace and all good things to anyone who reads this. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7uJzM-5OtsCvWYuKkPXOEnwQjOobmUP2IJPkxeSstn9clEw3HxOzbT96oQPN6CrdNSTU87KiA_s_zw87usSffGlzbzI7yGIejadd_ljp6vzI-U-Vx01O1hzunyvlpZYyrXlHUJzGfDpk/s1600/Mr+Teresa.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7uJzM-5OtsCvWYuKkPXOEnwQjOobmUP2IJPkxeSstn9clEw3HxOzbT96oQPN6CrdNSTU87KiA_s_zw87usSffGlzbzI7yGIejadd_ljp6vzI-U-Vx01O1hzunyvlpZYyrXlHUJzGfDpk/s320/Mr+Teresa.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="text-align: left;">~ Mother Teresa, pray for us. ~</b></div>
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<b>~ St. Therese, pray for us ~</b></div>
Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-62829562393039752492016-08-08T10:31:00.002-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.743-07:00What Feeds You?Last weekend I got hurt by someone I loved. Bad hurt. Like a dagger in the heart hurt. <br />
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I guess we all make certain assumptions about what so-and-so would never do or that such-and-such would never happen. Then, it happens. And it's either a dream come true, or a nightmare you hadn't imagined. </div>
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I struggle between knowing that I must forgive and move on, and honoring my feelings, acknowledging them, and grieving. I know if I don't feel my feelings, think my thoughts, and get in touch with the hurt and anger, then the forgiveness will just be a form of denying reality. </div>
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However, forgiveness is also an act of the will. "Father forgive them, they know not what they do." It doesn't mean I <i><b>feel</b> </i>like forgiving. I can ask God to forgive without the emotions behind it, knowing that it's the right thing to do. I can also still grieve, feel sick, sad, and angry, even having forgiven.</div>
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There's a balance between acknowledging and feeling the truth, and wallowing in it to the point of bitterness. There's also a balance between forgiveness as an act of the will and being so free that it's as if it never happened. </div>
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I tried to pray, to meditate, to invite God into this. </div>
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Over time, I got two messages. </div>
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One is, "Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace." It sounds so nice when you're thinking about world peace, doves, or resolving the violence of war and poverty. When it hits closer to home, being an instrument of peace can be very, very hard. </div>
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The other message is, "Take and eat, this is my body given up for you." What are we receiving when we receive God? Unconditional Love. That was the message I got.</div>
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Yes, I believe in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist. But, what that meant to me this time wasn't a message about the theology of trans-substantiation, it was a message that I need to focus on what it is that's feeding me. If I am receiving The Word Made Flesh into my body and soul, then I need to feed on that. Rather than feeding on my hurt or on the wrongs of others, I need to feed on Christ, who loves me more than I can imagine. </div>
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Once I was able to grieve and acknowledge my hurt, I moved on to focus less on the hurt and more on the unconditional love of God. The reason these human hurts sting so badly is that we know there is an infinite, perfect love out there. We long for it. We are disappointed when humans deliver something less than that. We have to feed on the right things. </div>
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I'm not saying I have it all figured out and that my heart is all bandaged up now. It's a work in progress. I imagine that choosing what I focus on will need to be a conscious effort for quite a while until I can move on a little better from this.<br />
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One final thought is that I realize that I need to pray for those involved in hurting me.<br />
They are screwed up people, just like me. When I was so focused on the hurt and grief that their actions caused me, I couldn't pray for them. Now I can. Just a little bit. And they really, really need it. </div>
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What feeds you? </div>
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Is it your own sick thoughts of revenge? Is it your human understanding, which is only a small slice of reality? Is it an idolization of another person, who may eventually fail you? <br />
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Feed on the feast of Christ, the wedding supper of the Lamb, the Bread of Life. Eternal Life, Unconditional Love.<br />
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There's a feast waiting, you just have to accept the invitation to that meal. <br />
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-13014431836455719012016-07-15T15:04:00.001-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.675-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes <div style="text-align: center;">
I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></b></a> to bring you Seven Quick Takes from my world this week. (I almost didn't link up this week, I'm feeling so down with all that's happening in our world. But, this link up is mostly links to other stuff.) </div>
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<b>~1~</b></div>
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Another day, another heartbreaking news story. Pray for our world. Pray for peace. <br />
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<b>~2~</b></div>
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I thought <a href="http://aleteia.org/blogs/simchafisher/the-distressing-disguise-of-the-slut/?ru=156228c37de13e101ee3ca10b2be89f3" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">this article by Simcha Fisher</span></b></a> did a pretty good job of explaining that "custody of the eyes" is not just refraining from checking out attractive people. It also means refraining from scrutinizing and over-analyzing people (visually), leaping to conclusions, judgments, or too much curiosity. One thing that I've always found helpful is to look for/in the person's eyes when at a loss or distracted/tempted in other ways. If you can, pray for them too. <br />
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<b>~3~</b></div>
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I'm fascinated by people who leave the gay lifestyle and came back to their faith. Due to teaching on Natural Law and Theology of the Body, I left the secular, worldly, promiscuous lifestyle and came back (truly discovered) the Catholic faith. It was life-changing for me. I don't know how to reach my gay friends, since I haven't experienced what they have, but I'm encouraged by conversations and conversions <a href="http://cradio.org.au/interviews/my-journey-through-abuse-same-sex-attraction-and-healing/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">like this one</span></b></a>. (Note that this is a link to an interview/podcast.) <br />
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<b>~4~</b></div>
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Similarly (to #3), Daniel Mattson has a <a href="http://www.crisismagazine.com/2016/homosexuality-natural-law-issue#.V4jjxQmWN5h.twitter" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">great response here</span></b></a> to why Natural Law arguments <i>do</i> reach some people in this discussion, himself included. You may recognize him from the documentary Desire of the Everlasting Hills. </div>
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<b>~5~</b></div>
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On a much lighter note, Gretchen Rubin mentioned on her podcast this week that New York Public Library had <a href="https://www.nypl.org/research/collections/digital-collections/public-domain" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">archived a bunch of public domain pictures</span></b></a>. It's beautiful at the very least, and could even be helpful. </div>
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<a href="http://www.npr.org/2016/07/07/484941939/a-portrait-of-americas-middle-class-by-the-numbers" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">NPR did a segment on the new middle class</span></b></a>. The quote that really stood out to me was: </div>
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<b>"2015 was the first year on record when Americans in the middle-income bracket did not make up the majority of the country: that is, those above and below the middle class — rich and poor combined — make up half the population"</b></div>
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We definitely fall into this category. Sometimes it's hard not to give into despair, yet I also feel like it's a first world problem. We are okay, it's just not easy. <br />
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And from the public domain (referenced above), something beautiful called halymenia ligula...<br />
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<b style="text-align: start;">"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things..."</b><br />
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-30908553363991734832016-07-07T13:35:00.000-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.698-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XLI)I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>This Ain't the Lyceum</b></span></a> to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week. <br />
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<b>~1~</b></div>
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Lizz Lovett, a young wife and mother of four, passed away after a valiant fight with cancer. Contribute if you can to this GoFundMe account for her family, <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/znmtkr64" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">this video</span></b></a> shows her courage in facing suffering and death. She faced it and fought it head on, not giving into the lie of "death with dignity," but death with true dignity - in God's time. <b>Lord, have mercy</b>. <br />
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<b>~2~</b></div>
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I am so saddened by the violence and senseless deaths in our society. Pray for peace, unity, and an end to racism. Although written as a result to different violent tendencies, <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/standingonmyhead/2016/06/mob-violence-its-going-to-get-worse.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>this blog post</b></span></a> by Fr. Dwight Longenecker came to mind this week. As I write this, the news out of Dallas from last night is being released, even more to mourn. More violence, more division. I have friends who say I can't speak up because I'm not one of the minority being discriminated against. I have other friends who think that silence is compliance. I don't know what to do but hope and pray for better times, for justice, and for peace. </div>
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A quote from Fr. Longenecker,<b> </b><br />
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<b>"In the breakdown of the family, the church can become an alternative community not of hatred and fear and violence, but an alternative family of love, acceptance, forgiveness and reconciliation. In the midst of darkness we can provide a haven and a refuge of light. </b></div>
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<b>We’d better get busy doing it!"</b></div>
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<b>~3~</b></div>
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I hope everyone had an enjoyable <b>Independence Day</b> last Monday. We went to a cook-out at my in-laws. First we had lunch, then lounged around, went outside, watched a movie. Then, we had all the same food for dinner a few hours later and watched fireworks. It was fun. For whatever reason, my 3-year-old nephew and godson was really attached to me that day. I know the preferences of a 3-year-old are pretty fickle, but he's a sweetie, and I enjoyed hanging out. In just a few short years, I'll be chopped liver, so I'll take it. </div>
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<b>~4~</b></div>
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I have used the summer to get a tune-up, you know like a car does, only for myself. My insurance (the fiscal year at work) changes each July 1. Before it changed (and prices went up), I got a check up with a new OB/GYN and a mammogram. Then, after the change, I've made appointments for an eye appointment and dental exam. I had to get a new dentist because of an awful experience I had last year. I had to get a new eye doctor because the last time I drove by her office, it had turned into a Subway restaurant. I couldn't find news of a relocation anywhere online, so off to a newbie I go. I guess I'd better get to flossing for my dental exam (!!) I'm so bad at doing that regularly. And, I feel like I should lose weight before seeing my regular doctor again. She's always telling me how fat I am, and I could stand to lose 10-15 pounds. It was refreshing to just hear how old I was from the OB/GYN. Perhaps on a related note, I <i style="font-weight: bold;">hate</i> going to the doctor. I do it out of obligation and self-care, but it's very hard for me. In fact, I was so tripped out by it that they remarked that my pulse was high. </div>
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One of the good things about living in one of the largest cities in the US is that random people pass through on layovers, for work conferences, and every now and then, someone you know moves here. I had a former student of mine contact me to say he was moving to town. He and his wife ate dinner with my husband and me lastnight. I'm older than my husband, and it seems that his wife is about my age, and he is about my husband's age. Anyway, I don't see us being new BFFs, but it was fun to catch up and chat about the arts scene here and where they might live...not that I'm an expert, I still feel new, but there's something about seeing someone from "back home," that brings a nice feeling. </div>
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<b>~6~</b></div>
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This is an anonymous blog, but I still don't feel like I can say exactly what we need prayer for. If you're the praying type and care to say a prayer for us, please do. </div>
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<b>~7~</b></div>
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After finishing a novena to Our Lady, Undoer of Knots, my husband and I just finished a novena to St. Joseph. Next, I'm going to do a novena to the Holy Spirit. We need a lot of prayer lately. <br />
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(P.S. there's a novena app now, which has proved very handy, it's called Pray: the Catholic Novena App, and it's free.) <br />
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<b>Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us! St. Joseph, pray for us! Come, Holy Spirit! </b></div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-88285707660161343222016-07-01T08:32:00.000-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.792-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XL) <div style="text-align: center;">
I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></b></a> to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week.</div>
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<b>~1~</b></div>
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This has been a <b><i>LONG</i></b> week. Next week is a 4-day week, and last week was a 4-day work week for me (took a day off). I knew it would feel long, but WOW has it been painfully long. <b>T.G.I.F.</b></div>
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<b>~2~</b></div>
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My husband was a victim of identity theft a few years ago. Someone illegally filed taxes under his name. Recently he has been hit several more times with fraudulent credit card accounts opened in his name using fake addresses and hacking into his email. And this week someone used our address illegally to open an account, which is mail fraud. It's so exhausting and time-consuming to deal with this. I wish people would use their time and creativity to get a job, rather than commit crimes. Supposedly the Infant Jesus of Prague is good to turn to in times of financial hardship. Be diligent in monitoring your records, and pray for the conversion of these people. A simple internet search revealed the identity, LinkedIn account, Facebook account, and recent mugshot for the mail fraud perpetrator. Amazing. It was all I could do <i>not</i> to publicly shame this person, which would have been really stupid and counter-productive, but I get so angry. I digress. In this age of technology and information, it's likely a matter of time before it happens to everyone at some point. </div>
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<b>~3~</b></div>
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This article about <a href="http://themighty.com/2016/06/living-with-high-functioning-and-hidden-anxiety/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Living with High-Functioning Anxiety</span></b></a> is making the rounds this week. I thought it was really good. It took a therapist telling me (at age 33) that I had panic attacks before I knew that what I experienced was a panic attack. It was normal to me, especially when my parents were involved. I thought everyone felt that way, at least sometimes. I'm still unpacking what my childhood did to me. For others recovering from abuse, maybe you understand what I mean. Maybe you're a recovering perfectionist, maybe you have anxiety, PTSD, panic attacks. Maybe you're still unraveling and trying to understand, like I am. Maybe you have a hard time in certain environments because of your past. If so, the article may help you feel less alone. It neglects the spiritual element, and I do have hope because of my faith. I also believe in physical, medical help, not just praying and spiritual solutions to very real problems. Maybe this article can help you put a name to the way you experience life. Recognizing it is often the first step toward healing.<br />
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Those of us from religiously abusive backgrounds can often find it traumatic to read the Bible. The words were used against us, used in unhealthy ways, misinterpreted, proof-texted to justify bad behavior, etc. It has helped me a lot, as a Catholic, to hear the word proclaimed in a liturgical setting with reverence and with no interpretation (until the homily). It has also helped that the common translation used in mass is different from the one I am most familiar with, so even though the text is the same, there are subtle differences between the traumatic version of the Bible from my youth and the Bible I most often hear read at mass. <br />
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<a href="http://offthepage.com/2016/06/29/recovering-from-legalism-dear-addie-7/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This article</span></b></a> addresses what to do when reading the Bible is difficult. I found it pretty helpful. It recommends to change translations in order to hear things differently (like a band covering a song puts their own twist on it). I have also heard that it's good to read the Bible aloud slowly and in your own voice in order to replace the negative memory of the Bible read by someone else's abusive voice. There are also many techniques, such as <i>lectio divina</i>, which can help you slow down, meditate on words one at a time, and re-construct your understanding. <br />
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The thing that is so sad to me is that I know the Bible is God's Word...what I mean by that as a Catholic, and what some fundamentalists mean by that is probably different. I hate that a good and holy book, a source of our faith, has been so mis-used and abused to the point that some cannot even read the Bible. Talk about a trick of old hairy legs. Having said that, God is love. He is beyond the Bible. He is in the Church, the Sacraments, in nature, in the soul of everyone we know and love. We can experience God in other ways when the Bible just doesn't help.<br />
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Our pastor taught us about <i>progressive revelation</i> (<b>not</b> the same as <i>progressivism</i>). This viewpoint has saved my view of the Bible and helped it not be an abusive, re-traumatizing book for me. It's the idea that God revealed himself slowly, over time. First, it was to the Jewish people, revealing that there was only one God, and calling them to live a certain, strange way. They never really got it. They were rebellious and fell back into their old ways many times. It started with 10 commandments. Finally, after centuries of relationship and covenant, broken and re-committed, we were ready for the revelation of Jesus. Reading the Old Testament is like reading the diary of a teenager, our pastor says. It is their idea and understanding of God, in so far he has revealed himself up to that point. It is limited in their understanding (thus, the teenager part), and they don't have the revelation of Christ and salvation that later comes into our understanding. <br />
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When I read a troubling passage that asks God to smite enemies, I think, yeah...they have a teenager's understanding of who God is. They think he hates the "bad guys" as much as they do. There is darkness and light together. Their understanding of God was limited to what He had revealed at that time in history. <br />
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I'm not a theologian, this is just my armchair/laywoman's explanation of something that was helpful to me. </div>
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<b>~5~</b></div>
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This weekend I get to see one of my oldest and dearest friends. We were bridesmaids in each other's weddings. I've known her since the 5th grade. Oddly, through all the changes, moves, and development over the years, we are sort of still the same little girls who met in 5th grade. She is one of the most full-of-grace people I know (and not even Christian). I'm excited to see her, and she is pregnant with their first child. <br />
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<b>~6~</b></div>
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In honor of Independence Day, I'll be doing some cooking this weekend. My in-laws are hosting a cook-out. I'll probably bring dessert, salmon burgers, or baked beans. We'll see. I really love to cook, now that I've learned a thing or two. <br />
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<b>~7~</b></div>
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Last week I finished up a novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots. A special intention came up after that, and the first thing that came into my mind was that I've <i>got</i> to pray to St. Joseph. My husband and I are now doing a novena to St. Joseph. My husband is Italian, and his family has a special devotion to St. Joseph. It was on his feast day a few years ago that we were able to find the house we now live in. I trust he will help us get an answer this prayer too. <br />
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<b>St. Joseph, pray for us!</b></div>
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<br />Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-8397062573028150622016-06-24T07:38:00.002-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.778-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XXXIX)I'm linking up with <b><a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></a> </b>to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week.<br />
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<a href="https://carmelitesistersocd.com/2014/overcome-sins-faults-tongue/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Here is an awesome article</span></b></a> about overcoming sins of the tongue. Even us introverts can be very guilty about this. I love and crave silence, but that doesn't mean I don't have inner noise. At the same time, that doesn't mean I don't sin in my words also. Lord, have mercy. <br />
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<b>~2~ </b> </div>
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Speaking of loving silence and being introverted, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Susan Cain, author of Quiet</span></b></a>, wrote an interesting article <a href="http://www.quietrev.com/how-your-personality-matures-with-time/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=feature+life&utm_content=sc+tw" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">here</span></b></a> about our personalities as we age. Do you ever feel more introverted or extroverted with age? It turns out that in our younger years, most of us are more extroverted overall because of the biological tendency to be seeking a mate and "putting ourselves out there." As we age, we settle in more to our natural personalities and tendencies, become more emotionally stable, and sometimes more pronounced in our introversion/extroversion. <br />
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While I love people, I am an introvert at heart, although it oddly took me <i><b>years</b></i> to figure that out. My growing up family did not exactly value introversion. On the one hand, if my parents hadn't pushed me, I might be afraid to speak to people. On the other hand, it was not "okay" in their eyes to not be a "people person." As a pastor's kid and also with some narcissism in our household, there was this mindset that we had to appear one way to the outside world and put forth a certain image. Part of it was also an attempt to convert people to Christianity. In college, I constantly put myself in very extroverted situations - performing music, giving campus tours, being a freshman orientation leader. Later in my twenties I worked as a college recruiter/admissions counselor. I met with strangers constantly on campus as well as in travel. While it was draining on some level, I also enjoyed it. That interaction is one thing I miss in my current job...even though I'm an introvert.<br />
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I moved to one of the largest cities in the US a few years ago (where I currently live). The constant flux of people in traffic, work, every store you visit, every activity you do outside the home, whether it's grocery shopping or church attendance, is quite draining to me as an introvert. Even if I don't interact directly with all these people on the bus or in the store, I find the hustle and bustle of the big city to have its own quirky effects on my introverted personality. <br />
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What do you think? <b>Have you gotten more introverted or extroverted over time? Are you married to someone who is opposite of you? Do you find big cities taxing on your introverted soul? Did you, like me, miss a call to the life of a hermit? </b><br />
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<b>~3~</b></div>
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<a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/acatholicthinker/2016/06/dont-despair/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Here is an awesome article</span></b></a> about not giving into despair. With our world the way it seems lately, it's easy to despair. I recently heard a podcast on the <a href="http://catholiccommute.libsyn.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Catholic Commute</span></b></a> about the three cardinal virtues: faith, hope, and love. His point was that most of us struggle primarily with one of those three, while to some degree, we all struggle with all three. I'm pretty sure that I struggle with hope the most, as I am prone to despair. I didn't even know it was a sin for a long time! Growing up Calvinist, despair and the wringing of hands were commonplace when we evaluated our world. I somehow internalized the message that despair and self-hatred were holy. Now I know that hope is a virtue, one I seek to cultivate. <br />
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<b>~4~</b></div>
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I have to say, after the Orlando shootings, not only was the event itself devastating, but the reaction in the culture was equally devastating to me. <a href="http://aleteia.org/2016/06/21/a-contemplative-christian-response-to-orlando/?utm_medium=aleteia_en&utm_source=Twitter&utm_campaign=english_page&utm_term=Autofeed#link_time=1466510621" target="_blank"><b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">This article</span></b></a> by Sister Theresa Aletheia Noble was one of the best responses I have seen. <br />
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<b>"I pray for anyone who uses the media to promote violence, including any kind of petty division and animosity toward those we perceive to be our ideological opponents."<br /><br />"Will this tragedy move us to become more like Omar Mateen or more like Christ?"</b><br />
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<b>~5~</b></div>
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As a classically trained musician, it was heartwarming to see <a href="https://cnstopstories.com/2016/06/21/vocational-support-cardinal-uses-music-as-part-of-his-ministry/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>this article</b></span></a> about a priest who uses his piano skills to relate to people, much like others would use sports. I wax nostalgic for the days in which everyone had a basic music education, could read music (such as a hymn), and in which a piano was in most middle-class homes. </div>
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It seems the Pope has made yet another controversial statement by saying that most Catholic marriages are likely null. I have to say, if our marriage preparation was any indication of the typical Catholic marriage preparation across the US, then he is probably right. It was abysmal. </div>
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We took a personality test, which had wildly inaccurate results for us, and reviewed it with a non-therapist over several weeks. We attended a one day-long workshop with a minimal discussion on issues such as finances, sex, extended family/in-laws, religion, etc. with input from a non-therapist facilitator, a married couple, and a priest. </div>
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If it weren't for the fact that I had dated my husband off and on for seven years before we married, <b>and </b>for the fact that we had been going through a reputable couple's relationship book and workbook on our own (at the recommendation of a<i> licensed</i> therapist), <b>and</b> the fact that I was seeing a therapist due to my family's rejection of our marriage and my Catholicism, <b>and</b> the fact that my husband came from a very stable, loving home, <b>and</b> the fact that we (on our own) sought out and attended sessions about NFP, Theology of the Body, and Natural Law all before getting marriage...then, I fear we would have no tools going into our marriage and be another statistic. </div>
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I remember looking around the room during the one-day workshop and wondering which of us would make it, and which of us would not. I feel too young to already know people who have been divorced and remarried. And yet, with the lack of Catholic marriage preparation we received and the way our culture is, I understand why many marriages fail, or why they are deemed "null" in the first place. Maybe there are more annulments now because more people really do not know what they are getting into and how to fulfill their vows. </div>
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If the marriage of a man and a woman is a profound mystery, a union that mirrors the love of Christ for the Church, it is no wonder that it is so messed up. It's a prime target for the enemy, and we have few examples of long, loving, healthy relationships. </div>
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<b>"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, </b></div>
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<b>and the two will become one flesh. </b></div>
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<b>This mystery is profound, </b></div>
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<b>but I am speaking about Christ and the church."</b></div>
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<b>~ Ephesians 5:31-32 ~</b></div>
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<b>~7~</b></div>
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I'm doing a novena to <b>Our Lady, Undoer of Knots</b>. So powerful! I'd never seen this image before. </div>
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<b>Pray for us!</b></div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-80541096403589351842016-06-17T07:04:00.001-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.773-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XXXVIII) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></b></a> to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week. </div>
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<b>~1~</b></div>
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I'm devastated by the shootings in Orlando this week. What's more, I'm also concerned by the reaction I've seen. I have lots of gay friends, even a few who live in Orlando (they are okay). My more liberal and/or gay friends in general have said that Christians are responsible for this shooting, despite the fact that the shooter was Muslim. I have seen memes and posts that equate lack of support for gay marriage or a lack of support for gun control with the murder itself of gay people, posts that have said that straight people are responsible for creating this atmosphere. I am sad that these deaths are being politicized over gun control and bathroom laws, over labels of hate crime versus terrorist. No one deserves to die in that way. Our religion says to love another, and thou shalt not kill. I am trying to understand where they are coming from. It is no coincidence that the majority of the countries in which you can be killed simply for being homosexual are Islamic countries. By the same token, I don't appreciate the Catholic bishop who basically fed into this mindset by indicting Catholics as well or the ACLU for somehow blaming a different religion than that of the shooter for his actions. We cannot even discuss anymore rationally. We cannot disagree without it being seen as "hate" or irrational fear (the definition of "phobia"). Due to the sad divisions with Christianity, those who also hold to the label of "Christian" might propagate hateful ideas, and we are all indicted. Despite the fact that many cry "not all Muslims" are terrorists, it seems that the battle cry that "not all Christians" are bigoted spewers of hate, the logic does not seem to apply equally. I understand that this specific attack can be seen as a hate crime aimed at the LGBT community. That is wrong. I also think there is room for both/and rather than either/or. It can be terror and hate. Sadly, I don't see how the label matters. I am listening, trying not to wound further my friends who are directly hurt by this. I understand how this attack seems like a threat to all, and I don't want to minimize that. <br />
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Yet, I foresee a dark future for anyone who holds to true Catholic teaching as it relates to marriage, sexuality, the human person, etc. In the meantime,<br />
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<b>"May the souls of these victims in Orlando, and the souls of all the faithful departed, </b><br />
<b> through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen."</b><br />
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<b>~2~</b></div>
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Quite related to number 1, Joseph Sciambra provides a nice <a href="http://josephsciambra.com/where-do-we-belong-an-ex-gay-catholic-view-of-the-orlando-massacre/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Catholic response to this tragedy</span></b></a> as an ex-gay man. He is much more qualified than I to have an opinion about the best approach. (This post on his blog was also featured on <a href="https://www.lifesitenews.com/opinion/where-do-we-belong-an-ex-gay-catholic-view-of-the-orlando-massacre" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Lifesite news</span></b></a>.) He also was interviewed in a wonderful podcast, which <a href="http://www.onepeterfive.com/1p5-podcast-episode-37-joseph-sciambra-leaving-gay/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">you can catch here</span></b></a>. I believe this is the defining issue of our time: sexual identity. It's not abortion, the death penalty, divorce and remarriage, it's sexual identity. The Church quite simply has not done a good job of providing the truth with clarity, and not just that but providing healing. If we view this as a wound, not just a sin, then we need to help people have alternatives. We provide healing retreats from those involved in abortion, why not provide healing retreats from those who have had unwanted same-sex attraction? There is much to be done, and as a married straight woman, I have no idea what I am to do, I just know we have got to respond better as a Church. Learning about natural law and Theology of the Body was life-changing for me. It changed my mind and my behavior. It is likely the reason I am still Catholic. If I had not understood these issues on a deep level, I would possibly have left the Church over them, before having a re-conversion of sorts. Pray, pray, pray for our world and our Church. </div>
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<b>~3~</b></div>
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It's not every day that you get to hear one of your favorite authors speak. This week, Dawn Eden gave a talk about her book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Remembering-Gods-Mercy-Yourself-Memories/dp/1594716366" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Remembering God's Mercy</span></b></a> that was I able to attend in person. It was great. I hope I didn't act like too much of a dork when I met her, since I was saint*-struck. Again, it's the best book I've read this year, and I read about one book per week of non-fiction Catholic theology or spirituality books such as this. I highly recommend for anyone struggling with past pain or painful memories. <br />
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(*Catholic equivalent of star-struck upon meeting a future saint)<br />
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<b>~4~</b></div>
They're making a documentary about <a href="http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-misophonia" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Misophonia</span></b></a>!<span style="color: blue;"> <span style="color: blue;"><b><a href="http://www.quietrev.com/portraits/jeffrey-gould/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=feature+qrev&utm_content=qr+tw" target="_blank">Here's a link</a></b></span> </span>to the trailer. Very depressing preview, I have to say. I'm not sure I want to watch it, but the fact that it exists makes me feel less psycho. Don't forget, it's thought that Therese of Liseaux had this too.<br />
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<b>~5~</b></div>
<b><br /></b>
On a much-needed lighter note, there is now such a profession as <b><u><i><a href="http://www.realclearlife.com/2016/06/16/sitting-down-with-americas-only-water-sommelier/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">a water sommelier</span></a></i></u></b>. That's right - an expert in how different <i>waters</i> taste, impact your meals, or when enjoyed alone. All you have to do is visit a bar in Los Angeles to consult a <i>water menu</i>, cultivated by the <i>water sommelier</i>.<br />
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Ain't America <strike><i>decadent</i></strike> grand? <br />
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<b><b>~6~</b></b></div>
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I'm behind the times, since we don't have cable (or even the free channels). But, we watched a cute movie this week. It promoted nice family values, even though there were tear-jerking moments, it was overall a happy, sweet story. I recommend for kids and parents alike, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Good_Dinosaur" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">The Good Dinosaur</span></b></a>.<br />
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<b>~7~</b></div>
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One of my favorite depictions of the Blessed Mother - Madonna of the Lilies by Bouguereau. </div>
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<b>Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God!</b></div>
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<br />Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-80867247925577928192016-06-03T07:30:00.002-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.775-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XXXVII) I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></b></a> to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>~1~</b></div>
<b>Motherhood.</b><br />
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<span style="text-align: left;">Motherhood is on my mind lately, ever since Mother's Day. And ever since two of my closest friends (bridesmaids at my wedding) have announced their first pregnancies. Here are two articles about it - </span><a href="https://nadirahangail.com/2016/05/25/mind-your-own-womb/" style="text-align: left;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">one that's from a more "worldly" perspective</span></b></a><span style="text-align: left;"> - you never know why someone has the number of children they do or the struggles they're going through. </span><a href="http://www.piercedhands.com/heavy-blessings-2/" style="text-align: left;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Another one</span></b></a><span style="text-align: left;"> from </span><a href="http://www.piercedhands.com/" style="text-align: left;" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Meg</span></b></a><span style="text-align: left;"> that acknowledges the crosses that come with blessings. </span><br />
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<b>~2~</b><br />
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<b>Is "tidying up" actually magic?</b><br />
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I finished reading the Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up. <a href="http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2016/05/disagree-marie-kondo-life-changing-magic-tidying/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Gretchen Rubin posts here</span></b></a> about her take on it. Overall, Rubin's point is that TLCMOTU tends to give a one-size-fits-all approach, whereas Rubin's research on habits reveals that there is no such thing. You have to "hack" habits (including tidying up) in a way that works with your nature so that the effect is long term. I agree with Rubin, having read her book on habits, which was not my favorite, but definitely seemed like it would apply to many more people. <br />
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I enjoyed the book, but I won't say it changed my life. Honestly, I think the novelty of someone from a different culture proposing a drastic approach must be very appealing in its exoticism and claims of success. I read it as a way to gear up mentally for some summer cleaning. What I got from it is "when in doubt, throw it out." Also, be grateful for your stuff. If you're getting rid of something, be grateful for the purpose it served during that time. (Kondo injects this with some animism, but it's easy to translate into gratitude.) My beef with the book was that it barely addressed the kitchen, which contains a LOT of stuff for most Americans, I'd guess. The other issue I had was that she clearly saw <b><i>one</i></b> best way to do things, and only one. One best way to fold your socks, one best way to deal with your purse, one best way to clean the shower, etc. While it does present a comprehensive approach, it just didn't seem like it would work in reality for many people. What Kondo calls "tidying up" I would call minimalism. In that sense, you do it once, you're done for life, as she claims. If you read the book in that paradigm, I can see how her claims are believable or would work. <br />
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Bottom line, Americans overall have way too much stuff. The questions - is it necessary? is it beautiful? - are much more helpful to me as I go through my stuff. The thought of just purging once (Kondo's version of "tidying up") and being done for life strikes me as completely unrealistic. If you're going completely minimalistic and have family buy-in, it might work that way. My guess is, like laundry, tidying up seems to be an unfortunate part of life's drudgery that is<b><i> never </i></b>done. <br />
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<b>~3~</b><br />
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<b>Currently Reading.</b></div>
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<b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drunks-Monks-John-Carmichael-ebook/dp/B01178VVCY" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Drunks and Monks by John Carmichael</span></a></b></div>
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<b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Uniformity-Gods-Will-Alphonsus-Liguori-ebook/dp/B00ZCYWPPW?ie=UTF8&keywords=uniformity%20with%20god%27s%20will&qid=1464963429&ref_=sr_1_1&s=digital-text&sr=1-1" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Uniformity with God's Will by St. Alphonsus Liguori</span></a></b></div>
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<b>~4~</b></div>
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<b>Memory.</b></div>
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Someone very close to me suffers from short-term memory loss, whereas I have a very good memory. The role of memory in holiness has fascinated me. Dawn Eden explores this really well in her book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Remembering-Gods-Mercy-Yourself-Memories/dp/1594716366" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Remembering God's Mercy (my favorite book this year)</span></b></a> as it relates to the line about memory in the Suscipe prayer: </div>
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Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,</div>
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<b><i>my memory</i></b>, my understanding,</div>
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and my entire will,</div>
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All I have and call my own.</div>
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You have given all to me.</div>
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To you, Lord, I return it.</div>
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Everything is yours; do with it what you will.</div>
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Give me only your love and your grace,</div>
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that is enough for me.</div>
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I have loved that prayer, ever since I heard it. The part about memory stuck out to me, as I could vividly remember abuse from my past. I remember one day asking God about that. The next day, I had a clear dream or word of knowledge that it wasn't the fact that I remembered something that was significant, it was <i style="font-weight: bold;">how</i> I remembered it. Did I remember it in context of God's love? Could I re-frame it in a healthy way? The memories weren't going anywhere, but my understanding of them could change. <br />
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<a href="http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/why-we-should-memorize" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Here's a really interesting (somewhat related) article</span></b></a> about why we should memorize, even though the classical approach of memorization in learning has somewhat gone out of fashion. <br />
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<b>~5~</b></div>
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<b>Suffering and Aging.</b></div>
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There were a few articles this week about suffering, dealing with aging loved ones, and loss. I think our culture is in a time that disregards suffering and wants to do away with the dying. Follow these links if interested.<br />
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<a href="http://www.firstthings.com/web-exclusives/2010/08/love-limits-and-loss"><b><span style="color: blue;">http://www.firstthings.com/web-exclusives/2010/08/love-limits-and-loss</span></b></a></div>
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<a href="http://aleteia.org/2016/04/19/i-had-the-patience-of-a-saint-but-alzheimers-has-stolen-it/"><b><span style="color: blue;">http://aleteia.org/2016/04/19/i-had-the-patience-of-a-saint-but-alzheimers-has-stolen-it/</span></b></a></div>
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<b>~6~</b></div>
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<b>Weather.</b></div>
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There has been a lot of disaster-level, emergency-inducing weather where I live lately. We are okay, aside from the inconvenience of road closures and roads flash-flooding, but many are displaced. Pray for them!</div>
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<b>~7~</b><br />
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<b>Sacred Heart of Jesus. </b></div>
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Before I was Catholic, I visited the Sacre Coeur basilica in Paris. I loved it and brought a cross home from there. A few years later, at my confirmation, my dear friend gave me a necklace with the Sacred Heart of Jesus on it. I was always drawn to it, but still am learning so much about it. We recently watched Fr. Gaitley's Divine Mercy series via Formed dot org. I learned the connection between the Sacred Heart, the Little Way of Therese (also one of my favorites), and Divine Mercy (another of my favorites). </div>
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Today is the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, depicted as on fire with love for you. You can run to that heart, hide in that heart, hear that heart beating with love for you and for the whole world. There is no fear when our God has a heart like this. Let his heart heal your heart. </div>
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<b>Ezekial 36:26</b></div>
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<b>"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."</b></div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-7018702609464335372016-05-26T13:31:00.000-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.752-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XXXVI)I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></b></a> to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>~1~</b></div>
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<b>Those who can't - cant.</b> <br />
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I'll be <b><i>cant</i></b>oring at mass this weekend. (get the joke?) Say a little prayer for me. I used to do it regularly for about 8-9 years. It never, ever got any easier to sing in public. As in, when you hear me sing, you'll know I'm a trained <i>instrumentalist</i>. Yes, it's in tune and the rhythms are correct. That's about all I can say. I know bad cantors are a dime a dozen in the Catholic Church (unfortunately), but G-d sure is funny when I ask Him how I can be more involved in music and in my parish. <br />
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<b>~2~</b></div>
<b>Modesty. </b><br />
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I think I've come full circle on the modesty debate/issue. As a kid, women were "less than" men, and seen as the source of/responsible for all male temptation. Not only was fashion pretty unflattering in the '90's, but I didn't know how to make myself look my best. Looking back at pictures, I realize I was never as fat/ugly as I thought I was. I just didn't know how to dress and do makeup well. <br />
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Fast forward to college, and I lost a little bit of weight, fashions slightly changed, I was away from my parents, and modestly generally went out the window...not to the extent that it could have due to my self-hatred and incredibly low self-esteem, but looking back, I cringe. I enjoyed the male attention I got, and I used myself and others physically. I was okay with drawing immodest attention to myself in some contexts - like when there was drinking involved. (a really bad combo)<br />
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Now, here I am, having gone through a conversion and reversion of sorts - first to Catholicism, then to a deeper understanding and practice of the Catholic faith. I'm now married, and I feel very drawn to dressing more modestly. My senses feel assaulted by what others wear (I work on a college campus, so this is a regular occurrence). I don't want to dress like a frump, but I've pretty much gotten to the point of never wearing sleeveless, layering so as to avoid cleavage, and wearing longer and longer hemlines of skirts. I've even stopped wearing heels for the most part. My swimsuit last summer (which was the most comfortable I've ever been) was a swim shirt and swim trunks. I don't feel any shame in this. It's not like I think I'm tempting others by my rabid attractiveness. I don't feel like I'm responsible for the thoughts of others, so much as I feel less and less comfortable showing that skin. I want to look "normal," but I am actually more comfortable the more I cover up. I have joked with my husband that I will simplify my wardrobe and get more and more "modest" to the point that I'll be wearing a habit one day...even though I'm married. I see the beauty in covering up. <br />
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I'm still on a journey about what this means for me. Will I become one of those "no pants/skirts only" women? Will I keep my hair long? Will I start looking frumpy? I don't know that there's any one answer or hard and fast rules. Height, age, etc. often affect rules about length, for instance. I don't judge what others wear. I pray for them when the outfit distracts or tempts me to lust. I just know that I'm on a journey to understanding modesty, in the context of my vocation to marriage and to chastity as a virtue. I think there is a lot to be said for looking relatable, attractive, and yet, modest. <br />
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Dawn Eden has a lot of good thoughts about this in her book, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Thrill-Chaste-Catholic-Finding-Fulfillment-ebook/dp/B00S5ER1LO?ie=UTF8&qid=&ref_=tmm_kin_swatch_0&sr=" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">The Thrill of the Chaste</span></b></a>. I also found <a href="http://catholicexchange.com/lets-talk-modesty" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">this article</span></b></a> (cited in her book) as a balanced discussion for a starting point. <br />
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In this crazy society, where anything goes, anyone can see anything at anytime, and liberation is seen as license. It's hard to know how to be relatable to others while still being as modest in clothing as I feel called to. <br />
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<b>~3~</b></div>
<b>If the Shoe Fits...</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/05/16/down-with-high-heels" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This article</span></b></a> contains some vulgarity, but it makes a great point. Are high heels sexist? I'm only 35, and I'm 5'3". I've worn heels since I was 12 years old because I'm so short. Especially in the workplace, I've always worn heels to be seen as more authoritative, professional, to be taken seriously, and not be treated like a child. I've worked on college campuses for several years. Wearing professional clothing and heels has helped distinguish me from being a college student. I always cited the statistic I heard once that the majority of CEO's are over 6 feet tall, and height (plus being a man) helps in the workplace. However, in the last few years, I've had to do a <i style="font-weight: bold;">lot</i> more walking just to get to-and-from my bus stop and/or car. I can't do the heels anymore on those long walks. They are excruciating, impractical, and I refuse to carry two pairs of shoes around all the time in order to walk in one and wear the others at work. <br />
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Is eschewing the high heel part of the next wave of feminism? I admit, I feel dorky and frumpy in many of my flats, but my feet thank me. I don't think I have the ability to move up in this current job, so I don't care that I'm not wearing heels and asserting myself physically. I'd love to stay committed to this as a lifetime cause, but I still wear my heels for special occasions. I look at the shoes men wear, and they are just comfortable, practical. Aside from men having slightly large and wider feet, why aren't women's shoes the same as men's? Can I wear a comfortable, practical shoe without feeling less feminine? <br />
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There are laws in England which require women to wear heels. It was recently protested. As part of the uproar, some men wore heels for a day to see what it was like. <a href="http://www.wearethecity.com/men-stylist-wear-heels-day-response-high-heels-work-debate/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Watch the video here</span></b></a>, it's rather humorous and absurd to see men wearing heels, yet it's completely normal for women to do the same. <br />
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I have to say, even in Catholic circles, this seems to be a problem. I was going to join a Catholic young professionals group in my city until I read some of the dress code requirements for networking events, which included heels for women among the description of what is "business casual." Maybe that is the standard professional definition. I doubt there is dress code "bouncer" at the door, but it's disappointing to see it in print. ::Sigh:: - I give up. <br />
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<b>~4~</b></div>
<b>Currently Reading. </b><br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Thrill-Chaste-Catholic-Finding-Fulfillment/dp/1594715580/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1464294543&sr=8-1&keywords=the+thrill+of+the+chaste" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">The Thrill of the Chaste</span></b></a> by Dawn Eden<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing/dp/1607747308/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1464294567&sr=8-1&keywords=the+lifechanging+magic+of+tidying+up+by+marie+kondo" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up</span></b></a> by Marie Kondo<br />
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<b>~5~</b></div>
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I am happily married, but a few short years ago, <a href="http://mattfradd.com/there-isnt-someone-out-there-for-everyone-and-yes-you-might-die-alone/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">this article by Matt Fradd </span></b></a>would have resonated on every level with me. It's slim-pickins' out there for Catholic women (men I'm sure, too, but I'm not a man, so...) I don't want to be a smug married person. I truly understand how hard it is out there to be single, to feel called to marriage, to feel like there are zero prospects unless you change who you are or lower your standards. I can say from observing some people close to me that it's far better to remain single than to marry the wrong person. Similarly, as Matt Fradd points out, there is a cross in every way of life, including marriage, even if that's what vocation you're called to. </div>
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<b>~6~</b></div>
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The butterfly is my personal symbol, and Gabriel Garcia Marquez wrote my favorite book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hundred-Solitude-Harper-Perennial-Classics/dp/0060883286" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">One Hundred Years of Solitude</span></b></a>. In reference to a fictional event in one of his books, mourners brought hundreds of yellow butterflies to the site of his burial in Colombia. I love it. <a href="http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/hundreds-of-yellow-butterflies-attend-ceremony-for-gabriel-garcia-marquezs-ashes" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">More here</span></b></a>.<br />
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<b>~7~</b></div>
<b>Quote of the week:</b><br />
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“Spiritual living is accepting reality at any cost” - Simone Weil<br />
<br />Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-78570333388511968072016-05-20T10:20:00.002-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.764-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XXXV)I'm linking up with <b><a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum </span></a></b>to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week. <br />
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<b>~1~</b></div>
<b>Coming Home.</b><br />
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As I mentioned <b><a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2016/05/coming-home.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">yesterday</span></a></b> with <strike>fear, trepidation, nervousness, and</strike> excitement, my conversion story is now up on the <a href="http://www.chnetwork.org/" style="color: blue; font-weight: bold;" target="_blank">Coming Home Network</a><b style="color: blue;"> </b>website. Check it out <a href="http://www.chnetwork.org/story/forgiveness-path-faith/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>here</b></span></a>, if you'd like!<br />
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<b>~2~</b></div>
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<b>Going Home. </b></div>
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I just got back from a trip home to see my family. I have a sibling who is in the states for a limited time, home from an overseas deployment. It was good to see everyone. We also caught up with some friends while we were in town, and there was no family drama to speak of. All in all, a good trip home. </div>
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<b>~3~</b></div>
<b>Hoarding.</b><br />
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So, my home office/study is to a crazy level of insanely unorganized. You'd think I was a hoarder. I'm not exaggerating. The funny thing is that I'm generally clean and organized, but I just can't seem to stay on top of (or even get on top of) the incoming mail and paperwork I need to deal with. I joke with my husband that we should just burn the house down and start over...not that funny. Last weekend I spent some time unsubscribing to things and getting on the "opt out" lists for credit card offers, insurance offers, etc. I'm hoping that helps. <br />
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<b>~4~</b></div>
<b>Currently Reading.</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sleep-Revolution-Transforming-Your-Night/dp/1101904003" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">The Sleep Revolution</span></b></a> by Ariana Huffington<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Little-Bit-Wicked-Faith-Stages/dp/1416580565/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1463764042&sr=1-1&keywords=a+little+bit+wicked" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">A Little Bit Wicked</span></b></a> by Kristin Chenowith<br />
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What I've learned: get more sleep! Also, there's no business like show business. <br />
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<b>~5~</b></div>
<b>TSA</b><br />
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Our trip home this week was marked with unusually long wait times with the TSA. I had heard about this, but I thought we would be exempt from it, traveling on off/non-peak hours, not travelling from/to places like NYC or Chicago. I was wrong. <b>Let the traveler beware. </b> We waited longer in line than our first flight lasted, and if it hadn't been a delayed flight, we would have missed it. People were running to gates, cutting in line, and generally becoming irate and restless. It was awful. Bonus, we ran into Sister Miriam James while in the long line. I act like such an idiot around some people, so I said something stupid about following her on <a href="https://twitter.com/onegroovynun?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Twitter</b></span></a>, rather than something meaningful like, "Thank you for your book/your ministry/your witness." I will say, having a nun and a priest nearby made me have better behavior than I might have otherwise. <br />
<br />
(<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Loved-Am-Invitation-Conversion-Healing/dp/1594715467/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1463764254&sr=1-1&keywords=sister+miriam+james" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This book</span></b></a>. It's wonderful, check it out.) <br />
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<b>~6~</b></div>
<b>RTS</b><br />
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<a href="http://www.elizabethesther.com/journal/2016/5/16/overcoming-learned-helplessness" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Elizabeth Esther</span></b></a> has a similar background to mine, and has introduced me to the concept of Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS). It can be seen as a form of PTSD, related to faith or religious experiences, often occurring in people who leave cults or abusive religious environments. I'm pretty sure I have this. For instance, I have had panic attacks before listening to Catholic radio when the caller was an anti-Catholic and the apologetics show turned into a screaming match. Also, anytime a rain or thunderstorm wakes me up, my first thought is that it's the "rapture," or the end of the world, and I've been left behind. I know this isn't true, but that's my first thought upon waking. I then have to calm down to go back to sleep, which doesn't always happen. Anyway, RTS explains the inner-workings of people like me. We feel misunderstood a lot. We are invalidated a lot by people who mean well. What I like about Elizabeth Esther's take is that 1) we have a similar upbringing, 2) we both became Catholic, 3) she's able to be a person who still has faith, while also maintaining a healthy balance of recovering from this stuff. The woman who coined the term RTS, for instance, was raised Christian and is now atheist. While I respect everyone's journey, I appreciate the insights EE has as a person who is overcoming the abusive aspects while also retaining belief that is balanced and healthy. If you haven't already, <a href="http://www.elizabethesther.com/spiritual-sobriety/" target="_blank"><b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: blue;">check out her book</span></b></a> too.) <br />
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<b>~7~</b></div>
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<b>TGIF</b></div>
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That's all I got, folks. Keep the faith. Have a lovely weekend. </div>
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<br />Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-19604712999744634272016-05-19T12:18:00.002-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.683-07:00Coming HomeMy conversion story is now live on the <a href="http://www.chnetwork.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Coming Home Network</span></b></a>'s website <b><a href="http://www.chnetwork.org/story/forgiveness-path-faith/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">here</span></a></b>. It's called "Forgiveness on the Path to Faith" and uses my pseudonym, Ari Mack. The CHN version includes a little more detail than my story as published on this blog, along with some editing for content, clarity, and length. It's kind of like my whole life story, as it pertains to religion and faith. <br />
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[You can the version on this blog here: <a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-conversion-story-part-i.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Part I</span></b></a>, <span style="color: blue;"><b><a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-conversion-story-part-ii.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Part II</span></a>,</b></span> <a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-conversion-story-part-iii.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Part III</span></b></a>, <b><span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-conversion-story-part-iv.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Part IV</span></a> </span></b>if interested]<br />
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I'm excited and nervous. I love stories, particularly conversion stories. I think that hearing someone's story and experience often is more meaningful than hearing a doctrine or theological argument (as important as those can be). We can learn from others, and I am 100% not perfect. I pressed on in submitting this to the Coming Home Network because they have a much larger platform than I do, and if my story can help one person, then praise be. I wrote it, submitted it, and now I have to let go and work on living a life of virtue and love. My faith is very much a work in progress, and I love the idea of "practicing Catholic" - I am practicing, but have not yet arrived. <br />
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I love the phrase "coming home," don't you? The idea that the Church is our true home, that it ushers us to heaven, our eternal home, that we can rest and be at peace within her walls, that we can travel this journey with others in the family, that we share a meal at the banquet table with our brothers and sisters in Christ. <br />
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I can think of no better image or story of this reality than that of the Prodigal Son. If only we knew how much God loved us, we would come home, running into God's open arms. <br />
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To those who have become Catholic, <b>welcome home</b>. To those searching or questioning, to those who have left for whatever reason, <b>come home</b>. We aren't perfect. We don't have all the answers. <br />
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But Christ is in our midst.<br />
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<br />Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-79487471204424443492016-05-13T09:36:00.001-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.770-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XXXIV)<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm linking up with <b><a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></a></b> to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week.</div>
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<b>~1~</b></div>
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<b>The Mundane. </b></div>
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I never thought I could be so excited about a stretch of highway, but due to mother nature's work on April 18th, we have been unable to use several major thoroughfares near our house for nearly four weeks. This has made my already long commute (1-1.5 hours each way) into unbelievably long (2-2.5 hours each way). So, I'm back to spending 2-3 hours per day in the car, rather than 4-5. I'm back to getting up at 6 am rather than 5 am. <br />
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I'll take it. My bosses graciously let me work from home a few times the last month. I wish that would be a permanent arrangement, but it won't. I'm just glad to have the convenience back. </div>
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<b>~2~</b></div>
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<b>Mother's Day. </b></div>
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I wrote about<b style="color: blue;"> </b><a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2016/05/here-we-are.html" style="color: blue; font-weight: bold;" target="_blank">Mother's Day here</a> on the blog. A tough holiday for some.</div>
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<b>~3~</b></div>
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<b>Fambly.</b></div>
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I will be traveling next week to see my family. My brother has been overseas with the military for about a year. We haven't seen him since August, and he couldn't come home for Christmas. My parents graciously paid for my husband and me to join in the celebrations next week. So, I'll be headed to a little family get together. </div>
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<b>~4~</b></div>
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<b>Fr. Anthony</b></div>
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My husband is a member of a Lay Cistercian community. <a href="http://www.trappist.net/passing-father-anthony" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Their spiritual director died this week</span></b></a>. I met him three times while on retreats with my husband. He was a rare gift to the world. Very humble, wise, funny, spunky, honest, loving. It's hard to quantify how a simple monk could have such a profound impact on so many, but he did, myself included. I was looking forward to seeing him again on our next retreat. As sad as it is to lose him, I'm grateful for him and his life. His was a life well-lived. He knew who he was, what he was called to do, and he did it - all for God. We'll miss you Fr. Anthony. Please pray for us. </div>
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<b>~5~</b></div>
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<b>Friday the 13th.</b></div>
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I know relatively little about Our Lady of Fatima, but I do know that on May 13 is when she first appeared to the children of Fatima. I recently learned a little more about all of it via the Divine Mercy series (which is available on Formed dot org for a limited time). I highly recommend the series. Our world needs mercy. It's beautiful to see the progression from the Sacred Heart to St. Therese to St. Faustina and Pope St. John Paul II. Clearly this is a message for our time. </div>
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<b>~6~</b></div>
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<b>Working Weekend.</b></div>
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I work in higher education. Near graduation time, we are always called into the office one weekend to get everything ready. It went well last weekend. It just cracked me up to see my boss in a t-shirt reading "TGIF - This Grandma is Fabulous" and another co-worker (also a grandma) wearing a t-shirt that said "sexy" on it...maybe there's a reason for those dress codes on the other days of the week. </div>
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<b>~7~</b></div>
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In an effort not to drown in despair, I simply implore us all to pray for our world. Whether it's culture wars, the next election, public bathrooms, persecution of minorities in other parts of the world, ISIS, or our own futures, there is much to fret about. But, we aren't called to fret. Pray, do penance, and trust in God. </div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-85590333448829420702016-05-09T11:07:00.001-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.784-07:00Here We AreI was going to link up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b>This Ain't the Lyceum</b></a> to bring you Seven Quick Takes from my world this week....but last Friday turned into today (Monday), and 7 quick takes turned into random ramblings on Mother's Day. So, here we go. <br />
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<b>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</b></div>
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Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there. I have to say it's a difficult day for me. I love my mom, but we aren't that close. She did the best she could under difficult circumstances. But, the emotional temperature of our relationship is like what I would guess a distant great aunt is like or something. It's hard to honor someone when the way you're expected to honor them is dictated to you by society and by parental expectations. [I literally received a message instructing me on what I should post on Facebook regarding Mother's Day.] Most people adore their mothers, consider them best friends, have warm fuzzy feelings toward them... </div>
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The sting is not as deep this year. I am learning to feel more of God's love than ever before. I am trying to cultivate a relationship with Mary. I'm more secure in myself and my boundaries. It's easy to recognize the crazy and quickly dismiss it now, more than ever before. But, those of us with abusive parents have a hard time with Mother's Day (and Father's Day). As an adult child, it's hard to know how to honor and respect them, how to forgive them, and how to keep good boundaries without becoming hard-hearted or falling back into the familiar dysfunction. </div>
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Not to give my mom too hard of a time. After all, she did apologize last year in an unprecedented move. She basically said she was sorry for so much of our childhood pain. And that was deeply healing. (See: <a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/05/unprecedented-day-i-thought-would-never.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>The Day I Thought Would Never Come</b></span></a>) But...it's complicated. There's not a hallmark card that says how I feel, nor should I necessarily express all that comes into my mind and heart. I just struggle sometimes with why. Supposedly God only allows things into our life that will bring about a greater good, that will bring about His will. I should be grateful. Yet, in this life, it's hard to see - why did He pick them as my parents? why did He allow the abuse? why did it have to be so hard? I see the broken lives of my siblings and the struggles I have had. I feel like my entire childhood was a cross to bear, and I ask - there's more? <i>more</i> suffering ahead? You mean, the entire Christian life is about crosses? I digress. </div>
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Then there's the nagging question - when and how will I ever be a mother? People mean well, but they can be insensitive. Much like the sting of Mother's Day, the sting of "are you pregnant yet?" or "when is it going to be your turn?" hurts a little less now too. I know they mean well. I don't have the emotional energy to give to each and every drama that could be, each and every remark, each and every assumption. I can "let it be" a little more easily than in the past. But, suffice it to say, when you look at another person's life circumstances, things may not be what they are for the reasons you think. Many single people would <i style="font-weight: bold;">love</i> to be married. Many childless people would <i style="font-weight: bold;">love</i> to be parents. As each day, month, year slides by and time flies and marches on, I do wonder what life will hold for me. For me and my husband. For me and my womb. </div>
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My comfort is that we have a spiritual mother. As foreign and mysterious as she is, I know she's also very close to me, that she probably helped bring me into the Church, and that if I could only receive her love, I'd receive more of God's love. If I could follow her way, I'd find The Way. </div>
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<b>"Lovely Lady, dressed in blue, teach me how to pray."</b></div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-32786879275643931282016-04-08T09:37:00.000-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.702-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XXXIII)<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></b></a> to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week. </div>
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<b>~1~</b></div>
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<b>I'm baaack.</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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So, I kind of took a blogging hiatus for about the last 4 months...not that anyone even reads/notices/cares, but I'm back-ish. I'm not sure if this space will stay what it has been, but I re-activated ye-old blog for now. </div>
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I really have felt the need to retreat and get my priorities straight the last few months. I'm not sure I'm "there" yet, but I enjoyed the break. By the same token, I have a strong need to write. I want to start a blog or write a book or something. And yet, I really feel like I need to retain some privacy. (Ari is a nickname.) At the same time, I have considered purchasing a domain and just starting a new blog there. Lots to keep in mind. I want it to have the potential to talk about anything, but most of the things I think to write about concern my Catholic faith. </div>
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<b>~2~</b></div>
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<b>Future.</b></div>
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Life is really good with my husband. I thank God for that and for him every day. I do wonder what our future holds. In other words, will we ever have children? It's hard to be a female in the Catholic blog-o-sphere because it seems that everyone is a mom-blogger or has 1-10 children. I'm certainly open to life and want children. We practice NFP right now. It's tax season and open enrollment for my insurance at work. More than ever, the reality has set in that we just cannot afford children right now. And there are other factors, like my husband's disability. And other factors too, concerning my health. Sometimes I wonder how the middle class ever make it in this country. Are we even middle class? Our mortgage went up, our insurance went up, our phone bill went up, etc....of course the salaries have not gone up and the coverage of said insurance has decreased. It's just a crunch time for us financially...and will be for at least the next 3 years or so. By then I will be even-more-advanced maternal age. I don't want to give into despair. And yet, I didn't think this would be my life story. </div>
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Jesus, I trust in You. </div>
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Thy will be done. </div>
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<b>~3~</b></div>
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<b>Commute.</b></div>
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On a lighter note, one major shift that has occurred since the last blog post was that I am now a commuter who uses public transportation. I have always hated driving, but the possibility of using public transportation to get to work has never been an option, even though we live in one of the largest cities in the US. However, recently the routes and whatnot have been changed for the buses in our city. Wouldn't you know it, but I can now get on a nice charter-type bus, and let someone <i>else</i> deal with traffic for me? It's awesome. I'm dropped off right by my office. I can park for free where I catch the bus, or if need be, my husband can drop me off because it's not too far from home. Granted, it still takes about 1.5 - 2 hours to get to and from work, so I'm still basically gone 7a-7p most days, and that does suck....but the amount of time that I personally am driving every day has been reduced from 2-4 hours per day to about 1 hour per day. This is a huge improvement on my mental health, wear-and-tear on my car, and physical health. I just can't even express the joy that I have found not having to drive so much in the worst traffic on earth. It has also made me better able to cope with my job and some of the innate frustrations of work. I don't arrive at work after fighting traffic for 1.5-2 hours. I don't arrive home hangry and in near tears out of stress, I arrive after sitting on an air-conditioned bus while I sip coffee, read, or listen to podcasts. It's amazing. I feel like this change has bought me more time at my job. I didn't see how it was sustainable for the long-run...even though I've worked here for over 3 years now. It has been a major, drastic, awesome life change. I can't fathom going back to driving so much. </div>
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<b>~4~</b></div>
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<b>Mass.</b></div>
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Thanks to another shift in the schedule of a nearby chapel, I'm able to attend daily mass a few days a week now during my lunch break. I really felt like I needed something more in my spiritual life. And, while I still need even more of God in my life, these few extra days a week in which I can receive the Eucharist and go to mass are a huge, huge blessing. </div>
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<b>~5~</b></div>
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<b>Easter. </b></div>
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We had a wonderful Easter a few weeks ago. We went to the Easter Vigil, which lasted almost 4 hours at our church. After it was over, we saw some friends of ours from the young adult group. They invited a bunch of us over for crepes. It was so fun. I felt like a crazy Catholic, having a post-Easter-vigil party in the middle of the night. We got home around 3:30 am, and had to be up at 5:30 am to play music for Easter services the next day. Yes, we were so tired on 2 hours of sleep, but it was worth it. I always think back to my partying, "worldly" days or college exploits. I would have easily partied through the night for less-than-noble reasons in my past...why can't we celebrate the Resurrection with our friends in the same, over-the-top way? The answer is, we can! Christ is risen. </div>
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<b>~6~</b></div>
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<b>Conversion Story.</b></div>
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I found out that in the future (not sure when), my conversion story will appear on the <a href="http://www.chnetwork.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Coming Home Network</span></b></a> - either in the newsletter or website (or both?). As I stated before, Ari is a nickname for me. It was important that my story retain some amount of privacy, due to the things I shared about my family and the way my Catholicism has affected my relationship with my parents. (Short story - it has been rough, my dad is a Protestant minister of the anti-Catholic variety.) I have shared most of my story on this blog, too. </div>
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[You can read it here: <a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-conversion-story-part-i.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Part I</span></b></a>, <span style="color: blue;"><b><a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-conversion-story-part-ii.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Part II</span></a>,</b></span> <a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-conversion-story-part-iii.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Part III</span></b></a>, <b><span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/02/my-conversion-story-part-iv.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Part IV</span></a> </span></b>if interested]<br />
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Anyway, my husband has a family member who is marrying a non-Catholic soon. The future spouse has pressured my husband's family member to leave the Church. I truly think that only those who don't fully understand the faith could ever leave it. It breaks my heart. When I heard about that situation, I felt the urge to write my story down and submit it to the Coming Home Network. I thought, even if it could help one person, I should tell it. Of course, immediately after sending I felt a nauseous pang of regret, but I chalked that up to the enemy. I'm not perfect, and I love hearing how God has worked in the lives of others. Why not share how He has worked in mine too? I'll keep the blog updated as to when the story is posted on the Coming Home Network. </div>
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<b>~7~</b></div>
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<b>Prayers.</b></div>
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I feel a strong urge to pray for this crazy, fallen world of ours. It seems like every single day, something more horrifying than the previous day occurs. It's overwhelming to me. I have family members in dangerous parts of the world, although, I'm coming to think that "dangerous" is everywhere. </div>
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Did you know that St. Faustina was told in her visions that before Christ came as Judge, there would be a renewal of His Mercy? I think we are in that renewal now. The Year of Mercy. Our world needs mercy. A true understanding of it. (Side note - one of the <i>best</i> books I have read recently is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Remembering-Gods-Mercy-Yourself-Memories/dp/1594716366" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Remembering God's Mercy by Dawn Eden</span></b></a>...check it out.) </div>
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Anyway, will you consider praying for our country? against ISIS? for Catholics to come home? for whatever God places across your path? Even if it's an extra Hail Mary a day, or a quick "Lord, have Mercy," our world needs it. </div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-79356614906788909262015-12-01T12:37:00.001-08:002017-03-27T13:21:00.767-07:00Answering the CallNot that I have much of a "following" here, but I felt the need to share what's up with me.<br />
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I recently celebrated a birthday. Though not one of the milestone years, I love the sense of a clean slate that a birthday gives us. A new start.<br />
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Lately something has been brewing inside of me. I can't figure it out. I can't name it.<br />
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I just know that something must change.<br />
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I've had to do a lot of work over the last decade and a half. Work on myself. The work that survivors of abuse know. Work that those who need major therapy understand. It's hard work. I don't want to do it most of the time because it <i>is</i> work. It hurts at times, and yet, there are rewards for doing it. I know if I don't do it, the poison inside me will kill me.<br />
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Do I sound dramatic? I'm sorry if I do. I just have gotten too old for this stuff. I want it out. I want it gone. Forever. I know that may not be possible, but I have got to make room for the work in my life. How will I do that?<br />
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<b>Unplugging.</b><br />
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<b>Minimalism.</b><br />
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<b>Answering the call. </b><br />
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<b>...{not sure, still figuring it all out}...</b><br />
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I do know that over the last several weeks and months, I've gotten a clear message. We must "love our neighbors <i style="font-weight: bold;">as ourselves.</i>" This isn't new age, mumbo-jumbo. This is wisdom, hidden in one of our most familiar and beloved Christian verses:<br />
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<b>Matthew 22: 36-40<br /><br /> “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”<br /><br />Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”</b><br />
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The love of God, self, and others. That is the key to life. I need to take some time to do the work of learning to love myself. </div>
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I was raised to hate myself. I always felt like I should have never been born, like I was unwanted and unloved. This was through spoken and unspoken messages from my parents. Our Calvinistic doctrine taught us about a monstrous God who was all about justice and wanted to punish us all to death. </div>
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To know Christ...the real Christ...is to know Love and to become more loving. To know and love God, who is Love, is to love others <i>and yourself</i>. If I don't love myself in a healthy, balanced way, how can I love God or others? The answer is, I can't. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling the brokenness. And it's time for me to unplug, go minimalist, and do whatever it takes to answer the call to conversion on this matter. </div>
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You might not relate to what I describe here, and that's okay. I don't say it out of self-pity or evangelization. I simply say it for myself and for the few others who may have had a similar experience. The relationships we have to God, self, and others are equally important and inter-connected. It's time for me to do some intentional work to heal in these areas, and I'll be pretty silent on the blog for a while. I'm not sure what this is going to look like, except that silence and intentionality will be coming into play quite a lot. </div>
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<b>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</b></div>
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From one of my favorite Christmas carols,<i> O Holy Night</i>: </div>
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...Long lay the world in sin and error pining</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Till He appeared and </b></span><b><span style="font-size: large;">the soul felt its worth</span></b></div>
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A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices</div>
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For yonder breaks a new glorious morn...</div>
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Do you feel your worth? Do you know how much you are worth? A new, glorious morn...a new way of doing things...a new way of seeing ourselves...a new way of being loved that had never existed before came into being. Love incarnated. </div>
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It's time for me and my soul to feel my own worth. </div>
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<b></b><br />
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<b><b>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</b></b></div>
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<b>John 1:14 </b></div>
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<b>"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, <i>full of grace and truth</i>."</b><br />
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-57956156522993747052015-11-13T07:53:00.000-08:002017-03-27T13:21:00.734-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XXXII)<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></b></a> to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week. </div>
<b><br /></b>
<b>~1~</b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<b>Modern Dinner Party. </b><br />
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<a href="http://arimack.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-modern-dinner-party.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">I posted</span></b></a> outside of my normal Friday 7QT earlier this week to tell a story about a recent dinner party we attended. Political affiliations and salaries were discussed. Awkward? Yes. As the days continue to pass, it's still on my mind, so I know it must have bothered me. It only recently occurred to me that perhaps I had differing political views from everyone else because I am in a different tax bracket/economic status. Le sigh. <br />
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What do you think? Is every topic of discussion fair game these days? <br />
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<b>~2~</b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<b>Introvert Offices. </b><br />
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I'm a introvert who loves people. (Hello, fellow INFJs.) One of the frustrations of my job is that I don't interact with others as much as I'd like. On other hand, working in a cubicle that has no door and is "exposed" to passersby 100% of the time is also draining to me as an introvert, not to mention that there is absolutely no ambiance. I realized that my "alone time" at works comes...during my bathroom breaks. Even though it's not a private bathroom (i.e., there are stalls), having a DOOR to close and not be bothered or seen by anyone else is a relief. <br />
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Here's the glorious view out my cubicle doorway. No view of the outside world, but 100% view of me anytime anyone walks by. I can't take a lunch break without interruption, so I usually leave for lunch. I can't speak with anyone in the cubicle without everyone overhearing me. This is bothersome to me. It doesn't seem to bother my coworkers, who have discussed everything from their child's divorce to their cat's special food to their own prescriptions within earshot of others in our cubicle world. (True stories.) Study after study has proven that open concept office spaces are not as effective, not just for introverts, but for all employees. But, they do seem to prevail in our modern day workplaces. <br />
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Oh well. I shall survive. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGezw6-KRcv8iWVUFOjR8QbuCVvtrzG8dBqKSIL0PoXDQ02VccKJAqy3quXDYzjMExCxvWCJWiVJWGGH-7b1LEme3Hunqre5FRQ90flhq1ga2zZzepmxvm-w4dAIWXxq-Z7PvI00Q1grs/s1600/cube.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGezw6-KRcv8iWVUFOjR8QbuCVvtrzG8dBqKSIL0PoXDQ02VccKJAqy3quXDYzjMExCxvWCJWiVJWGGH-7b1LEme3Hunqre5FRQ90flhq1ga2zZzepmxvm-w4dAIWXxq-Z7PvI00Q1grs/s320/cube.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">FYI - For Your <strike>Inspiration</strike> Information</span></div>
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<b>~3~</b></div>
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<b>Relics. </b></div>
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As part of the <a href="http://mariagoretti.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Year of Mercy, Pope Francis sent Saint Maria Goretti</span></b></a> on a voyage around the world. We were fortunate enough to see the relic in person last week. I had never heard of her before, but the story is amazing. She not only forgave her attempted rapist and murderer, but her mother then adopted him. The mother forgave him too. He had a vision of St. Maria Goretti forgiving him, which led him to repent and turn his life around (up until then, he had been a violent inmate and claimed innocence in the crime.) He then forgave himself. </div>
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<b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQNASUYcVaI" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Here is a video</span></a></b><span id="goog_371054722"></span><span id="goog_371054723"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/"></a> which details some of the same information I learned that night.<br />
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I have to say, as a Catholic convert, this kind of thing really rubs against my natural sensibilities. I can see how those who do not understand think that we are being superstitious or taking away from God's glory or being pagan. I was thrilled that so many thousands of people would take the time to pay respects to a saint, but I felt like one of those "crazy Catholics." I do believe in the communion of saints, and I think St. Maria Goretti's story is very powerful. I feel sometimes like immigrants must feel in their adopted homelands. I doesn't come naturally to do things like this, but I believe it's true. Amid the huge crowd, the hours in line, the loud people speaking English and Spanish and Vietnamese (which was distracting from the atmosphere of prayer, to be sure), I still know God was there. <br />
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<i>Yes, Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief. </i> </div>
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<i>St. Maria Goretti - pray for us! </i><br />
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I have a new favorite for my personal litany of saints, the Little Saint of Great Mercy.<br />
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<b>~4~</b></div>
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<b>Self-Hatred.</b> <br />
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When God speaks to me, He has to be very clear, or I just don't get it. <br />
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It wasn't until earlier this year that I realized the voice of self-hatred and condemnation, even if it's your own inner voice, <i style="font-weight: bold;">is not of God</i>. If it's not from God, then who is it from? The enemy. Plain and simple as that. I learned this from Fr. Timothy Gallagher and from Deacon James Keating as I read and listened to talks about spiritual discernment and marriage. It was a powerful revelation. My "self-talk" has always been extremely negative. I would never speak to anyone else out loud the way I am accustomed to inner self-talk.<br />
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Well, within 10 days, I have gotten three separate messages about self-hatred being of the enemy. The first was Fr. Robert Barron's series about <a href="http://www.wordonfire.org/resources/blog/introducing-fr-barrons-newest-film-series-the-mystery-of-god/4702/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">The Mystery of God</span></b></a>. In discussing the Trinity, he talks about the idea that as God knows Himself in the Son, the only proper response is to love, which is the Spirit. (This is originally from Aquinas or Augustine, I believe.) In a similar way, as we learn who we <i>truly </i>are, in Christ, the only natural response is to love ourselves (in a healthy, balanced way). <br />
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Next, our priest gave an excellent homily on All Saints Day. While the focus of the homily was not self-love, he made a remark in passing that struck me. To end up in hell is to end up in self-hatred. In other words, when you end up in hell, it is because you have disobeyed God. One of the primary ways we do that is to reject his divine design, the goodness we are created for and to live according to our own designs. It's idolatry, essentially. And, as the good priest said, in not following God's design, you aren't your truest self. And hell is the culmination of such self-hatred. <br />
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Finally, the homily at the mass surrounding the viewing of the relics of St. Maria Goretti... The priest instructed us on how to pray when we venerated the relic. This is a saint of great mercy and forgiveness. He told us to pray something like, "Lord Jesus Christ, through the intercession of St. Maria Goretti and in your name, I forgive (so and so) for doing (such and such) to me." But, then he made an excellent point. St. Maria Goretti's murderer and attempted rapist had a vision of her forgiveness. He had a vision of God's forgiveness. But, had he not also forgiven himself, he could have never lived the rest of his life in peace. So, we were also instructed to pray, "Lord Jesus Christ, through the intercession of St. Maria Goretti and in your name, I forgive myself for doing (everything you are most ashamed of)." This piece of the forgiveness puzzle is absolutely crucial. <br />
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It was the third confirmation within 10 days that God does not want me to hate myself. My husband squeezed my hand when the priest said that, knowing the journey I'm on. And a tear fell from my eye. I knew it was a message for me.<br />
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Let us all be free. Let us all forgive others and ourselves. Lay it down at the foot of the cross and leave it there. <br />
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<b>~5~</b></div>
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<b>Old Friends.</b><br />
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I've had an old friend in town this week. It's been great to catch up. Funny how it's easier to pick up where you left off with some people than it is with other people. I'm grateful to know such interesting and brilliant people. This friend of mine is an English professor. We ate lunch together. Then after work, we went to an amazing art exhibit with my husband and then dinner all together. I miss being able to talk about society, the arts, and ideas with people the way I can with this friend of mine. He's a deep thinker and very insightful. He also said that he wished he had friends like myself and my husband back home. I guess the feeling is mutual. <br />
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<b>~6~</b></div>
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<b>Snake. </b><br />
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This is not a metaphor of any kind...there was a <i style="font-weight: bold;">snake</i> in our office yesterday morning. This is not a drill. I repeat: <i style="font-weight: bold;">a snake in the office. </i><br />
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It's gone now. It was caught and taken outside, but my-oh-my, I could not concentrate until it was removed. EEK!!!!!!<br />
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As Jim Gaffigan says, "I'm what you call...indoors-y."<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzB8RhyphenhyphensR8pn_6iRQ_RNrr0OXjHDxmd7KcyxGUPu-h3MdNNd3l0ACdSffxSk6Zhodcl-y_neEPhDLrlwaEZTbxLJH3sIFao6I-seV1CX5rizAho5ztMx98XptqdIfpPJ8LDFJtY82nPO4/s1600/indoors.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="129" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzB8RhyphenhyphensR8pn_6iRQ_RNrr0OXjHDxmd7KcyxGUPu-h3MdNNd3l0ACdSffxSk6Zhodcl-y_neEPhDLrlwaEZTbxLJH3sIFao6I-seV1CX5rizAho5ztMx98XptqdIfpPJ8LDFJtY82nPO4/s320/indoors.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">I found this hilarious image on <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/200607296/jim-gaffigan-quote-hand-embroidery-i" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Etsy</b></span></a></span></div>
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<b>~7~</b></div>
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Happy feast of St. Frances Xavier Cabrini, who said:<br />
<b style="text-align: center;">"Love and God will take care of the rest." </b><span style="text-align: center;"> </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3FT82h9YfYrSOFW0KWpHBqTVgXPoIOgHHPi8GbAbSp5GUUputUFSj-6U67CVADINz19DQq8a5y2mEoLQNWVnXWwqHCUO2pIridtF751Z-jJ9pTXY3V3PriW9DfvVz3udoJrpaojUcq-M/s1600/St+FXC.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3FT82h9YfYrSOFW0KWpHBqTVgXPoIOgHHPi8GbAbSp5GUUputUFSj-6U67CVADINz19DQq8a5y2mEoLQNWVnXWwqHCUO2pIridtF751Z-jJ9pTXY3V3PriW9DfvVz3udoJrpaojUcq-M/s320/St+FXC.JPG" width="262" /></a></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">St. Frances Xavier Cabrini, p</span>ray for us!</div>
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<b>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</b></div>
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<b>Have a great weekend!</b></div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-15387676919951590242015-11-09T11:45:00.003-08:002017-03-27T13:21:00.679-07:00The Modern Dinner Party<div style="text-align: center;">
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We were happy to be guests last weekend for a dinner party held by someone from our church. She invited several of us in the young adult class (some married, some single) to dinner at her house. Our favorite priest was also there. Plus, we've wanted to connect more with these same people and have more of a sense of community, especially among other young married couples.</div>
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Everything was fine and dandy (in my book) until the host said that it was time for us, one by one, to go around the dinner table and reveal who we were planning to vote for. My husband was wise and said he hadn't decided yet and wasn't informed enough yet (which is true). I was the <i style="font-weight: bold;">only</i> person at the table to say I really liked a person from one certain political party. Every single other person at dinner really liked candidates from the opposite party. I am a registered independent voter. I have to admit, I'm pretty cynical about politics. I, too, feel not as informed as I hope to be on election day. I'm also weary of the whole thing and not very loyal to any specific party. I care more about individuals and certain issues. Narrow the field down to two candidates, then I'll select the lesser of two evils. I don't have a lot of faith that electing certain people will completely change our country or our life. We feel pretty divided as a nation, to me. And, I also feel cynical that even if a bunch of changes are pushed through with one president, they might be overturned by the next one or by Congress. It makes me very pessimistic. That's how I feel about politics. If I could refrain from voting in good conscience, I would. I vote because I feel a moral obligation to. <br />
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Well, you could have heard crickets at this point in the dinner party. The host's husband (jokingly) told me that I could see my way out when I gave my answer. "There's the door," he said. I tried to take it all in stride, but this conversation led to about 30 more minutes of political discussion, some of it directed at my supposedly faulty notions. I noticed our priest stopped talking after giving his answer. <br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">"So, Bridget, how's your love life? Why are there so many women your age still single?"</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-xTLEwBJ7SkthZCAmtEvGde206TUR70XuLgsGOHYZWKeleZkKNPme8J4knbp5BOFVx1zgwtTe2vO0fUZmzEyrmRHaGVkI94B9qGPtJDgP9MGyfAZyCUVZf-4afG9LztXIrKnTgts94Eo/s1600/b.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-xTLEwBJ7SkthZCAmtEvGde206TUR70XuLgsGOHYZWKeleZkKNPme8J4knbp5BOFVx1zgwtTe2vO0fUZmzEyrmRHaGVkI94B9qGPtJDgP9MGyfAZyCUVZf-4afG9LztXIrKnTgts94Eo/s400/b.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">*If you've seen <i>Bridget Jones</i>, this is exactly how I felt when answering the political question.*</span></div>
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After that point, the conversation then turned to...how much money people in our given professions make. While we weren't required to go around the table and give answers to that question directly, several of the people there gave their two cents. Suffice it to say that as a person working in higher education, married to an artist, I now know for a fact that we make <b><i>way</i></b> less money than everyone else there, except for the priest..<b><i>n</i></b><i style="font-weight: bold;">ot that we revealed that information</i>. But most others there felt free to say a "starting salary" in their field is in the range of X-Y. I, for one, had sticker shock. Of note, after about 30 minutes of silence during the political discussion and making a joke about his salary, our priest promptly left.<br />
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So, is this conversation in bad form? I know that politics and religion are not the most politically correct topics to discuss. However, the only way we know one another is from sharing a religion, so maybe our host figured politics wasn't a big jump. But...delving in to how much money people make?! I thought it was tacky and embarrassing...maybe because, aside from the priest, we were clearly the lowest earners there. I'd wager to guess that I have more degrees than anyone at that table, but no one ever gets degrees in music for the sake of earning lots of money. Still, it left an odd taste in my mouth. <br />
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I really believe that our host is someone who likes to talk about controversial things. She has no problem disagreeing with people, and in fact, I think that's how she naturally communicates. It's difficult for someone like me <b style="font-style: italic;">not </b>to take it personally when she disagrees with every statement I make. Gretchen Rubin would say that she is someone who uses <a href="https://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2013/09/ever-been-stuck-talking-to-someone-who-keeps-telling-you-how-wrong-you-are/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">oppositional conversation style</span></b></a>. While I still find this conversational style a bit exhausting, I do understand it better with this paradigm in mind and try to accept this person the way she is. <br />
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I don't know how much money my friends, or even family members, make. I'm sure, like a person's age or weight, you could probably make an educated guess. After last weekend, my notions of what the average person makes should probably be multiplied by two or three. I do tend to know people's political leanings, not from asking directly, but because they share their views as related to certain issues, current events, as it naturally arises in conversation, or from their blatant posts on Facebook. Maybe I would feel differently about the whole evening if I agreed with everyone else's politics or if I made a much higher salary in alignment with theirs (three to five times the salary I do.)<br />
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<b>But, still...is it okay to discuss who you're voting for and how much money you make, even among friends?</b><br />
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<br />Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-35286563305207169712015-11-06T07:25:00.000-08:002017-03-28T09:14:55.673-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XXXI)<div style="text-align: center;">
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I'm linking up with <a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></b></a> to bring you Seven Quick Takes from my world this week. </div>
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<b>~1~</b></div>
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<b>Litany of Saints.</b><br />
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You might be Catholic if...<br />
...you don't think one day is enough to commemorate all the saints in your life (both official canonized Saints and friends or relatives that you're sure are saints). Thank goodness, the Church uses the <i style="font-weight: bold;">entire month of November</i> to reflect on this topic, remember the dead, and pray for them. I love the communion of saints. As a convert, this is something that brings so much more fullness to the body of Christ for me. Having unity with believers of all ages - past, present, future - believers in all states of being - militant, suffering, triumphant - is amazing. Having examples that bridge the gap between the stories of the Bible and ancient times and the modern world, people to whom I can relate. The stories are so varied. <br />
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I heard someone recommend once that each person should build their own Litany of Saints...not just your confirmation name or the Blessed Mother or your middle name (if it's Christian), but <i style="font-weight: bold;">all</i> the saints who are dear to you. If you don't have a growing list of favorites, get to reading and learning about the lives of the saints. They are our allies, our friends, our advocates, our family. They are fascinating, diverse, brilliant, humble, and encompass nearly any and every walk of life. <br />
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If you know <i style="font-weight: bold;">anyone</i> who has passed away (and we all do), then make sure to pray for them. Maybe they were holy and you think they went straight to heaven, pray for them anyway. Thank God for their lives, the love they showed you, their example. Ask God to have mercy on them and bring them to Himself, if He hasn't already. If they're already in heaven (and only God knows), ask God to apply those prayers to all those in purgatory. Ask them to pray for you, but pray for them too. Do not lose hope for those loved ones who may have lived less-than-faithful lives. <br />
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St. Cecilia...<br />
St. Therese of Liseaux...<br />
St. Louis and St. Zelie Martin...<br />
St. Benedict...<br />
St. Anthony...<br />
St. Dymphna...<br />
St. Frances of Rome...<br />
St. Vincent de Paul...<br />
St. Rita...<br />
St. Faustina...<br />
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<b><i>All the angels and saints</i></b><b><i>...</i></b><br />
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...<b>Pray for us</b>. <br />
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<b>~2~</b></div>
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<b>Manna.</b><br />
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"Don't speak against the provision of God."<br />
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I heard a nice reflection on gratitude that I really needed to hear. God provides for us, just as He provided manna from heaven. Eventually, they got sick of the manna and complained about it. Don't we do the same thing? <br />
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"Another day at the office?"<br />
"Another diaper to change?"<br />
"Another run to the grocery store?"<br />
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Whatever the case may be or the cross to bear, be grateful for the provision God has given you. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. (I'm saying this to remind myself, too.)<br />
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Sometimes we need relief, help, or sometimes we need a big change. But, be grateful for what you have. <br />
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<b>~3~</b></div>
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<b>Decorating. </b><br />
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I love decorating the inside of our house (much more than maintaining the outside). I don't know that I'm good at it, but I have specific ideas of what I like and what I don't. I have always wanted my home to radiate peace and to reflect our faith, while not feeling like a museum. <br />
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Jen, over at <a href="http://www.gracefullivingathome.com/can-i-get-a-drumroll/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Graceful Living at Home</span></b></a> compiled a list of some of the best decorating websites around, including her own. Follow, click, add to blogroll, like, etc. It'll give you a great list of inspiration if you like this kind of thing the way I do.<br />
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<b>~4~</b></div>
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<b>10 Tips for Online Behavior.</b><br />
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I guess it's link week on my 7 Quick Takes. But, seriously...online behavior seems to have taken a down turn, and <a href="http://aleteia.org/2015/11/03/10-tips-is-my-online-behavior-inviting-others-to-the-church-3/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">this article</span></b></a> is a good reminder. It's enough that I'm considering deleting Facebook, Instagram, this blog, etc. We all need a few reminders that behavior online doesn't get a "pass." Just because it's behind a screen doesn't mean it's meaningless or a way of getting by with bad behavior. Especially as Catholics, keep in mind that others are watching how we treat each other, how we speak of the Church, and how welcoming (or unwelcoming) we are. Food for thought. <br />
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<b>~5~</b></div>
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Jennifer Fulwiler referenced this long ago on her blog, and it's FABULOUS. A “Decalogue for Daily Living” from none other than Pope John XXIII. Such wisdom here. <br />
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<b>1. </b> Only for today, I will seek to live the livelong day positively without wishing to solve the problems of my life all at once.<br />
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<b>2. </b> Only for today, I will take the greatest care of my appearance: I will dress modestly; I will not raise my voice; I will be courteous in my behavior; I will not criticize anyone; I will not claim to improve or to discipline anyone except myself.<br />
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<b>3.</b> Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one.<br />
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<b>4.</b> Only for today, I will adapt to circumstances, without requiring all circumstances to be adapted to my own wishes.<br />
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<b>5.</b> Only for today, I will devote ten minutes of my time to some good reading, remembering that just as food is necessary to the life of the body, so good reading is necessary to the life of the soul.<br />
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<b>6.</b> Only for today, I will do one good deed and not tell anyone about it.<br />
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<b>7. </b> Only for today, I will do at least one thing I do not like doing; and if my feelings are hurt, I will make sure no one notices.<br />
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<b>8.</b> Only for today, I will make a plan for myself: I may not follow it to the letter, but I will make it. And I will be on guard against two evils: hastiness and indecision.<br />
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<b>9.</b> Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world.<br />
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<b>10.</b> Only for today, I will have no fears. In particular, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe in goodness. Indeed, for twelve hours I can certainly do what might cause me consternation were I to believe I had to do it all my life.<br />
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<b>~6~</b></div>
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<b>The Battle Is Real. </b><br />
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Apparently there are those people out there who don't think the devil is real. While I don't want to give too much emphasis on ole' hairy legs or make him an evil equivalent to God (keep in mind he is a created, fallen angel)...I think it's dangerous to think he doesn't exist at all, to play with things that are condemned by the Church, or to otherwise be unaware. </div>
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There is an enemy to all that is good. There is a spirit of resistance, self-hatred, and condemnation. It's a voice I know all too well. Stay in a state of grace as best you can (by God's grace), use sacramentals, say your prayers, and of course, Carry On. We are the victors in Christ.<br />
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**Note, I had a hyperlink, which I later removed because <i>the article disappeared, and the website no longer exists</i>.**<br />
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<b>~7~</b></div>
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<b>This is your daily reminder to TRUST YOURSELF...</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
And, in the spirit of offering basically <i>nothing </i>original this week on my seven quick takes, you simply must read the meditation that <a href="http://elizabethesther.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Elizabeth Esther</b></span></a> posted on her <b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Elizabeth-Esthers-Blog-Friends-113030458735509/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Facebook</span></a> </b>page on November 4. It was so good that I copied and pasted it to re-read over and over later as a prayer. I feel like I need to meditate on this daily until it becomes second nature. She thoroughly explains how to overcome some extremely damaging teaching that many of us were exposed to. It really resonated with me, and it might with you. <br />
<br />
Here is a copy of the text of what she said:<br />
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This is your daily reminder to TRUST YOURSELF. Growing
up, I was actively taught NOT to trust myself because my heart was
"desperately wicked" and everything I was feeling was suspect and
that the only way I could know the truth was by checking in with the authority
figures. When something bad happened to me, nobody believed me. "What?
That didn't happen!" they'd say or "You're exaggerating!" or
"Stop trying to get attention!" This is what I learned: that I wasn't
trustworthy<span class="textexposedshow">, that I couldn't even trust MY
experience, that what I felt and thought could only be understood through the
filter of other people. So I learned to repress my feelings, to push down my
memories, to pretend that what was killing me wasn't really killing me.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">WHAT I KNOW NOW: I can trust myself. When something
feels bad, I am allowed to say "that hurts" or "that makes me
feel bad" or "that makes me uncomfortable." I am also allowed to
do what I need to do to make myself feel safe. If someone is making me feel
unsafe, I am allowed to protect myself. And I don't "OWE" anyone an
explanation for that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I AM ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES: not trusting myself
meant I was hyper-vigilant about not making mistakes, not messing up.
Inevitably, I *would* make mistakes and then I would go into a terrifying SHAME
SPIRAL and believe I was the worst possible person in the whole world. Vile.
Evil. Basically, a self-fulfilling prophecy. I was "bad" and making
mistakes PROVED I was untrustworthy and bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">WHAT I KNOW NOW: everyone makes mistakes. It's ok.
It's what I DO with the mistakes that matters. Making mistakes doesn't mean I
am a "bad" person. It means I'm human. I get to experience the
natural consequences of my mistakes just like everyone else. I'm no better and
no worse than other people. And above all, I am loved. Making mistakes doesn't
mean I'm not trustworthy. It just means I get another opportunity to learn how
to live my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have a select few people with whom I trust my whole
self. I listen to them. When I've gone off the rails, I know they'll be honest
with me. But they'll be gentle about it, too. They won't blame or shame me.
They won't bash me. And they'll always affirm their love for me. How did I get
these good friends? By being a good friend TO MYSELF. By being whimsical and
light with myself. OOPS, I did it again. Pick myself up, brush myself off,
start again. Yep, I messed up. That's ok. The sun will rise again tomorrow.
Take a warm bath, say sorry, eat a cookie and give it to God. Go to sleep.
You're a good person because God only makes good things. xo. EE.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
As a reminder, heaven is our destiny. May we not forget what we were made for, who we are meant to be. All the angels and saints, pray for us!</div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5094547634228789193.post-41689805016054237072015-10-29T07:05:00.000-07:002017-03-27T13:21:00.715-07:007QT: Seven Quick Takes (Volume XXX) I'm linking up with <b><u><a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">This Ain't the Lyceum</span></a></u></b> to bring you seven quick takes from my world this week.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>~1~</b></div>
<br />
<b>There, but for the grace of God, go I. </b><br />
<br />
There are lots of situations that phrase can apply to, "There, but for the grace of God, go I." I'm not an alcoholic or a drug addict. I didn't hurt anyone the times I have driven after drinking. I didn't find myself in a marriage that didn't work. Just like Mary was saved from original and actual sin <i>before</i> it happened (by her Immaculate Conception), I've been saved from a lot of stuff before it happened.<br />
<br />
But one that really struck a nerve with me this week was in <b><u><a href="http://verilymag.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Verily</span></a></u></b> magazine: <a href="http://verilymag.com/2015/10/reproductive-health-fertility-donating-eggs" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">I Donated My Eggs, and I Regret It</span></b></a>. I didn't donate my eggs, but I <i>almost</i> did.<br />
<br />
I was in graduate school, and extremely poor. While I had a teaching assistantship and an outside job, I still made less than $10,000/year and worked or went to school <i>all the time</i>. The cost of living was low, and at the time, I had $0 debt, so I was able to make it work without even going into debt by the end of it. However, there were ads in our school newspaper that called for egg donors. You could make really good money, like several thousand dollars (and this was about 10+ years ago). They preferred women below 30 who were healthy, smart, etc. It seemed easy, like I could do some good for society and make some money. So, I applied to donate my eggs. I filled out all the paperwork about my background, personal health, social history, intelligence, family history, etc. I also sent a picture, which was required. At the time I thought, this is a win-win. I could make some money as a poor graduate student, and these strangers could have a child. I wasn't sure I wanted children at the time. I wasn't Catholic, there were no moral dilemmas. To me, it seemed about as difficult as taking some hormones for a few months, then <b><i>cha-ching</i></b>, get the cash. I had taken the BC pill with no obvious side-effects, and so I thought it would be similar. <br />
<br />
Well, thank God, along the way, something inside me made me hesitate. I thought about having offspring I didn't even know about roaming the world. Someone with my nose or my walk or my cheeks...that I didn't know personally or possibly didn't even know existed. I thought about running into them years later, and something made me hesitate.<br />
<br />
I went so far as to apply and talk to the agency on the phone several times. I'm not a model or anything, but I do have a very high IQ and was very healthy at the time. I fit their criteria. I think that made me appealing to the prospects, and I was poised to take the first steps with the agency.<br />
<br />
Eventually I stopped taking their phone calls and didn't go through with it. I figured, I was making it on my tiny salary. It would be nice to have the extra cash, but I didn't need it. And there was that hesitation. <br />
<br />
A few years later, I remember sitting in Catholic Church when from the pulpit, it was mentioned in the homily that surrogate parenting, IVF, and using these types of technologies for reproduction was immoral. It's the first I'd ever heard that. While I was skeptical and still not Catholic at the time, I thought, "Well, at least I didn't do it, one less thing to worry about." <br />
<br />
Fast forward to now, and I <b><i>t</i></b><i style="font-weight: bold;">hank God </i>I didn't do it. I understand now that it violates the sexual act and natural law. I know about Theology of the Body and practice NFP now. As much as I feel for infertile couples, I do understand the greater ramifications that such an immoral action would have had. They are now finding that there are major problems with the hormones given to such donors, not to mention the angst explained in the link about creating a human life that you are separated from. There are alternatives, such as NaPro technology, which work with our bodies instead of against them. <br />
<br />
A quote (questionably attributed to Albert Einstein), "I fear the day when technology has surpassed our humanity." Whether he said it or not, we have arrived at that day. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>~2~</b> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Conversion.</b> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I love a good conversion story. Head over to <a href="http://www.theheartsoverflow.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">The Heart's Overflow</span></b></a> to read several of them compiled recently: <a href="http://www.theheartsoverflow.com/2015/10/not-cradle-catholic-vol1.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Volume I</span></b></a>, <span style="color: blue; font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.theheartsoverflow.com/2015/10/not-cradle-catholic-vol-2.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Volume II</span></a></span>. I really enjoy seeing how God works in everyone in a way they can perceive. Every conversion story is so different and interesting. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b> ~3~</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Sanity, Sanctity and Sexuality.</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/standingonmyhead/2015/10/sanity-sanctity-and-sexuality.html" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">This article</span></b></a> by Father Dwight Longenecker talks about how saints are a balance of masculinity and femininity because they are a picture of what we will all be in heaven. They are not effeminate men, aggressive females, nor are they asexual. They are not macho men or Barbie doll girls, but they are a completed fulfillment of what we are meant to be as humans. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
I thought it was a rather profound and fascinating article. I never felt like I fit the stereotypical female. I'm an introvert, I hate the color pink, and I never played with Barbies. My husband doesn't fit the stereotypical male, either. He's extremely expressive and emotional, he hates football, and he's a great cook. I realize these sound like really superficial reasons for not being traditionally masculine or feminine, and that's exactly my point. They <i style="font-weight: bold;">are</i> superficial ways of measuring that. We don't really fit the superficial mold, not that we are just walking saints who are fully integrated like the people Fr. Dwight Longenecker references. But, this article gave me hope that by accepting myself and growing in holiness, I will actually grow in what it means to be a woman. <br />
<br />
With Theology of the Body and my Catholic faith, I'm trying to figure out what exactly it means to be a woman. It has always been a confusing and conflicting thing for me. Don't get me wrong, I definitely identify as female, but I don't feel like I have good female role models - I've got a lot of secular feminist examples and doormat "submissive" Protestants in my background. Isn't there a happy, healthy medium of what it means to be a woman? <br />
<br />
<b>What is authentic, Catholic femininity?</b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>~4~</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Nuts.</b> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
My coworkers lately are driving me nuts. I don't have a holy stamp to put on that, or a way to redeem it and say that I see Christ in them. I don't. I'm just annoyed and have to figure out some ways to deal with it.<br />
<br />
In the words of Miranda Preistly from <i>Devil Wears Prada, "</i>That's all."<br />
<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>~5~</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Halloween / Reformation Sunday. </b> </div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
We don't have kids and won't be passing out candy this year, but Halloween weekend coincides with "Reformation Sunday." This is the day when Protestant churches gloat about the fact that they <i style="font-weight: bold;">aren't</i> <b><i>Catholic</i></b>. To be honest, it breaks my heart. Whether they vocalize it or not, they'll be saying, "Thank God we aren't like <i style="font-weight: bold;">those people</i>. If it weren't for Martin Luther, we wouldn't know how important the Bible is, or how wrong Rome is, or what the "real gospel" is." This year is the 500 year anniversary of the Protestant revolt. <br />
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<br />
This is not Christian unity. As they sing "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God," the misunderstandings just get deeper and deeper, the chasm between Protestants and Catholics just gets larger, myths against the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church just perpetuate.<br />
<br />
I used to think that all the denominations were just part of a beautiful tapestry, that none of us had the complete truth, but that together, we did. Now, I see the thousands of "denominations" as a vast misunderstanding of what Christ wanted for us as his followers, which has resulted in chaos, confusion, division, and yes, hate.* <br />
<br />
*If you think Protestants don't hate Catholics anymore, you should meet some of my family members. (Yes, I know most aren't like that. And, yes, I'm sure there are hateful Catholics too.) <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.calledtocommunion.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Called to Communion</span></b></a> is a great website that answers a lot of the objections of Protestantism to Catholicism. David Anders points out that Calvin and Luther would not recognize modern Protestantism, and that the Evangelical Christian churches do not adhere to the teachings of early Reformation leaders. This study led him into the Catholic Church.<br />
<br />
Al Kresta's show, Kresta in the Afternoon, on 10/28/2015 in Hour 2 addressed this really well. Take a listen <a href="https://avemariaradio.net/resources/archives/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">here</span></b></a> if you'd like. He discusses this in an historical, balanced way, but doesn't have time to go into too much depth. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>~6~</b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<b>Weekend. </b><br />
<br />
Speaking of the weekend, I am planning a surprise "stay-cation" for my husband and myself this weekend. We are re-visiting a hotel we stayed at for the beginning of our honeymoon last year (before leaving for the rest of our honeymoon) and going to eat at a cool restaurant in the area that we ate at right after getting married last year. It's only a few miles from our house, but a little fancy. We haven't been to either place since then. I got a discounted rate, and we have the free time <i style="font-weight: bold;">plus</i> an extra hour of sleep. I've devised some rhyming clues to tell him where we're going...but not until Saturday. Should be fun!<br />
<br />
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>~7~</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Mutlipotentialite.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Call us Renaissance persons or... multipotentialites. I just watched <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/emilie_wapnick_why_some_of_us_don_t_have_one_true_calling" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">this Ted Talk</span></b></a> by <a href="http://puttylike.com/about/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: blue;">Emilie Wapnick</span></b></a>, and it <i><b>really</b> </i>resonated. If you've ever felt like you "missed your calling" because you didn't want to do <i>just one</i> thing with your life or were good at <i>more than one</i> thing or had very diverse interests...you might be a multipotentialite. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I have degrees in music and in a foreign language. I have worked in the music industry, higher education, and for the church (both Catholic and Protestant churches). I currently work in higher education in a job description that seeks someone with a computer science background. Sometimes I have an existential crisis because I feel like I should be doing more in music. I also am interested in possibly getting another (fifth) degree...this time in Theology. Due to my personality (an INF/TJ), I tend to be obsessed with something or completely uninterested in something. Emilie says "follow your curiosity down those <b>rabbit holes</b>..." My profile on <i>this very blog </i>says, "I believe that following those little <b>rabbit trails</b> of interest can sometimes lead you to your destiny..." </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Idea Synthesis, Rapid Learning, Adaptability are three skills Emilie identifies in multipotentialites. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
Wow...soo I think I'm a multipotentialite. Emilie divides the population into specialists and multipotentialite. As the latter, I have to say that I think I'm a specialist in multiple areas, or a specialist for a limited time in many areas before moving on. What about you? Does this understanding make sense for you or someone you know? </div>
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Anyway, another fascinating look at humanity. I love Ted Talks! </div>
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<b>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Have a wonderful weekend.</b></div>
<br />
From this morning's Divine Office: <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"Let us adore Christ who offered himself to the Father through the Holy Spirit to cleanse us from the works of death. Let us adore him and call upon him with sincere hearts: </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>In your will is our peace, Lord</i></b>."</div>
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Ari Mackhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12353619692848596247noreply@blogger.com0