Boundaries

The older I get and the more situations in life that come my way, the more I realize that I have really bad boundaries.  I've read the book Boundaries.  I'm currently reading Take Back Your Life.  Both help to recognize the issue and develop healthy relational habits, but after 18 years of growing up with horrible boundaries and with some abuse from adults, I know some habits I have are wrong, it's just hard to change them.  It's all I know.  It feels wrong and bad because it hurts me and it hurts others.  However, I don't know how to be any other way.  I'm learning to stand up for myself in healthy ways, learning to take care of myself, learning to have boundaries.  It's not just about keeping unhealthy stuff out, it's about letting the right stuff in.  Instead of developing healthy boundaries, I tend to have no boundaries with the wrong people, get hurt, then cut them out.  Then, cut all people out, whether healthy or not and live on an island.  Then, get sick of being alone and isolated and let the wrong people in.  Repeat cycle. 

Here's a good article from blogger and author Elizabeth Esther.  She has a similar (though much more severe) background to mine and her insights are spot on.

Helpful New Year's Ideas

I personally love the idea of making resolutions, whether at the new year, or many of the other times we have to do it.  For instance, each year at your birthday, at Advent (the beginning of the Church year), during Lent, at the beginning of a new school year, at the beginning of each new season, etc.

It's a great idea to resolve for the next season or until next year at that same time, you're going to do something different.  The years, the seasons, the shorter chunks of time are all a perfect time to start anew.  I love the idea of rebirth, a new start, a clean slate.  It's why I love butterflies.  It's not that we constantly are failing or that we have to throw everything out and start over all the time.  It's the idea that life is a process of renewal, change, conversion.  The idea that conversion is both a moment and a lifelong event.  I know I need the chances to remind myself of resolutions, changes, things to "lean" into.  It's fun to check in at these different parts of the year, to make use of the different calendars that rotate simultaneously and to see where you were at the last check in.     

Tabula Rasa  

New Birth

God's mercies are new every morning.  (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Here is a great article about what to do before the New Year. 

Quick!  Only 14 days left in 2013!     

Crickets Chirping

It's been quite some time....

A LOT has been going on.  I have moved and switched jobs since my last post.  Oh yeah, and gotten engaged!!

Anyway, one of my 2014 resolutions is to blog more and to combine my other blog (yes, I've got 2) with this one.  And to create more of a cohesive online presence, yet still maintain my privacy and somewhat anonymous contributions....

All that to say, here are some of my new year's resolutions:

1) blog more
2) exercise more (eye roll, I know, but seriously)
3) participate more frequently in confession (I'm Catholic, I can explain this in another post)
4) learn/try/eat more recipes