It's my last week of work before vacation next week. It has been a busy week of trying to finish projects before my vacation. Once I get back, it'll basically be the end of summer.
I'm excited to have the week off and (hopefully) relax. It's sometimes hard to relax around family when there is such tension and history with us, but I'm hopeful. It's a milestone family event, there will be professional family photographs taken, and we will all be together day and night for days on end. As I told my husband, "welcome to the family!" Before it all kicks off, we will be hosting seven house guests this weekend.
As I posted earlier this week, please pray for the repose of the soul of Leslie Sisti, an internet-only/blogger acquaintance. She died at age 30 of a heart condition, leaving behind a husband and two young girls. So sad. We never know how much time we have on earth. Be grateful and love well. The death of those who seem to go too soon just rips my heart out.
I finally am finished with my dental work, I think. I had the ninth appointment this week, or was it tenth? I honestly don't remember. It should have been finished in three, max four, visits. I do plan to be breaking up with the dentist ASAP. And being able to chew on both sides of my mouth again is great. It's the weirdest feeling in the world to floss UNDER this new fake tooth (bridge). When I feel food or liquid go under the tooth and touch the gum there, I can only describe it as my teeth floating. Not a good feeling, but I guess that's how bridges work. When I had the temporary one on for so long, it didn't have this lovely "feature."
In my personal life, over the years, I've tried hard to be more direct, less manipulative, less passive-aggressive. I've tried to mean what I say and say what I mean. I've tried to let others be how and who they are without judgment. And I've tried to figure out what it is that I want or need in a given situation and voice that. It's been so difficult at work to deal with the most passive aggressive, manipulative person you could imagine. He is the boss of the whole office, although I directly report to someone else. He somehow (micro)manages to get involved in all projects, not in an "I'm the boss and need to know what's going on," way but in an "I'm insecure that you'll do a bad job without me monitoring your every move" way. It's exhausting and doesn't convey trust or lead to a healthy work environment. I have to say, aside from the GIANT commute that ruins my life, I wouldn't be interested in other jobs if he were different. But alas, there is always someone or some situation like this to deal with, no matter the job. I was annoyed yesterday because he asked another coworker to ask me questions, convey his preferences, and report to him my answers. She is my equal and has nothing to do with my project. It annoyed me to no end. I need to let go of my need for him to be perfect and try to deal with this. I'm not sure how to deal with it, and I don't know why he gets under my skin so much, but he does.
I think everyone has a different definition of what modest is for them, what they feel comfortable with. I will say that mine has changed over the years. I don't wear anything sleeveless, I don't wear anything above the knee. I like the look of a v-neck, but I rarely wear them anymore and either layer or wear something that covers me up more. It's funny. I don't feel quite the shame and self-hatred I used to toward my body. I'm happily married and understand that chastity and modesty are virtues that extend beyond the bedroom and apply to more than just females. In that way, my self image has gotten better, and at the same time, my style of dress has gotten more conservative.
It's exceedingly difficult to find a wedding dress with sleeves (found that out last year, and I had to have mine modified). Even more difficult is the search to find a modest bathing suit. Not modest as in, "this is a one piece that covers my stomach," but as in "I wouldn't wear this as an outfit, why would it be appropriate at the pool?" Again, to each his (or her) own. I don't fault people for wearing bikinis. I just personally can't. I wouldn't walk around in my underwear, and that's essentially the same amount of coverage as a bikini. I understand that for the purpose of swimming, one should wear appropriate swimwear, but for me, I bought a swim shirt (sometimes called a "rash guard"), usually only marketed to men and boys. I also bought swim shorts - not booty shorts that are the equivalent of underwear, but actual shorts that extend almost to my knee. It's not that feminine, but it's swimwear, it covers me up, and I was able to just enjoy swimming without having to worry about my cellulite, my cleavage, whether or not I missed a spot shaving, etc.
I had to hodge-podge this suit together, but after doing that, I found a website that sells modest swimwear. Truly modest. I love it, and I wanted to share. (I get no benefit from sharing this, it is simply an opinion). I also mean no judgment or hard feelings to those who wear normal swimsuits. I'm not saying you're immodest, I'm just saying that I am not comfortable in traditional (American) female bathing suits. It's called HydroChic Modest Swimwear. Take a look if that sort of thing interests you.
For whatever reason, my left eye has gone allergy crazy this morning. I took out my contact and put it back in about 5 times while driving, and finally had to leave it in while I "cried" out of the one eye. Once I got to work, I had some contact solution here, so I'm only using my right eye to read now. It's so miserable. I don't understand why it only happens to one eye at a time. (Thrilling addition to the quick takes, I'm sure. Congrats for reading this far.)
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That's all I got. Have a lovely weekend, and lovely last day of July.
I hope to be seeing a similar view as this one, starting Sunday!